CAFE Bonnie: Coffee Autism Faith Explored

Fun Christmas Stocking Ideas

2011-12-03T08:26:00.000-08:00

Here are my top five Christmas stocking gifts for this year - woo!

Hairy Tangle
You've heard me rave about the Tangle Relax, we'll this tangle has small hairs that are soft and fantastic to play with. It's been a hit at our house with my teens and all of the kids in the neighborhood thus far. Thank God I get them wholesale or I'd be going broke by this point. So bottom line any kid, unless they are tactile defensive will love this in their stocking and they are only about $6,

Skittles Light Up Rainbow Wand
Candy is a must in our stockings, please people don't judge me, it's just the way it is. Since Skittles are G's favorite candy this was a must have for us. The wand lights up when you press a button and it can be refilled so I'll probably refill it from time to time when I need to help G stay motivated to do something. I try to limit candy in our stockings so this should satisfy with only a little candy because of the wow factor.

Mini Spectra G lobe
Spinning flashing lights connected to a breakaway necklace - awesome. You can read my feelings about spinning toys and autism here. Hey if you have to travel or have visitors around it's an instant distraction or calmer and is an inexpensive stocking gift.

Moody Face
He's, cute, he's squeezable, he has Koosh type hair and he's cheap. I don't know how long he'll last (I think if they pull too hard his hair will come off) but he's going in the stocking.

Beaded Sp aghetti Ball
This thing is awesome think of thin spaghetti noodles that don't break wiggling around in your hands, now add some texture and you've got an idea of what the Beaded Spaghetti Ball feels like. Super squishy, super stretchy and it's super fun.

These are my top five stocking gifts for this year. What about you? Do you have a good Christmas stocking idea? If so please share it there's still time to keep filling our stockings!!

Gift Ideas for Autistic Teenagers

2011-11-16T10:38:00.000-08:00

I guess because G is 16 lots of people ask me for gift ideas for autistic teenagers. I do have experience buying gifts for him, but "If you've met one person with autism – you've met one person with autism" Stephen Shore. All teenagers are different and everyone has their unique special interests. So with that disclaimer I'll give you my gift ideas for autistic teenagers.

Special Interests
If the autistic teen you are going to buy a present for has a special interest start there. My son loves aviation and Star Wars, every year we buy him a gift related to these two areas. I always buy a Star Wars calendar and I usually buy it in October because I have my choice then. I've also learned that waiting until the last minute can get me in trouble. So if your autistic teen has a favorite subject be on the look out now for a gift in that area.

Calming Items
Life can be stressful for any teen. There are lots of transitions, complex social interactions and confusing situations teens on the autism spectrum face daily. A wonderful gift for an autistic teen is something that's calming.

Vibration toys, pillows or tubes are all very calming. This year I plan to give my son a Vibramat. We can put his bean bag on top of the vibrating mat for a vibrating chair or under his mattress to make it vibrate.
Weighted items - weighted vests, lap pads or blankets are more expensive, but can be very soothing. It's always great when a grandparent or family member will give this kind of gift.

Visual Items
Many autistic teenagers are highly visual. Visually interesting items make great gifts. One of my son's favorite items is an Ooze tube. Some more highly visual items that make great gifts include liquid timers, sand panels, disco balls, light up or spinning items.

These are just a few gift suggestions. Do you have a good gift idea for an autistic teen? If so please share it, I'm in the same boat as everyone else and I always appreciate good ideas!

Update National Autism Resources has put together a gift page for autistic teens.

When Rumors Become Truths

2011-10-15T09:34:00.000-07:00

The Internet is amazing to me because the amount of information we can get is incredibly vast. We can read the news, watch video interviews by experts, search professional databases all from the comfort of our home. There is lots, and lots, and lots of information out there. But is it true?

I have watched assumptions and rumors become truths. One glaring assumption that has become a "truth" - families of a child with autism are much more likely to divorce. I've heard this "truth" touted on TV shows, quoted in newspapers, blogs, you name it. However, the truth is - this is NOT true! As a matter of fact, parents of kids with autism are NOT more likely to divorce. You can read the research here.

But rumors are nothing new. I was reading today about Mary Magdalene, the former prostitute, or so I thought. After all there are Magdalene houses all over the world that minister to women of the night. Well in my study I was surprised to learn no where in the Bible is she referred to as a prostitute. It turns out that rumors have turned into truths for this woman. You can read all about her in Matthew 27:56; Matthew 27:61; Matthew 28:1; Mark 15:40; Mark 15:47; Mark 16:1-19; Luke 8:2; Luke 24:10; John 19:25; John 20:1-18. If you take the time to read it you'll find no reference to prostitution.

So once again I'm reminded there is nothing new "under the sun" and just because the majority of people believe something is true, does not mean it is.

This reminds me of a therapy, the gluten- and casein-free diet. Some claim it "cures" autism and others claim it's all just "wishful thinking" on the part of the parents. At this point the research says we need more research. Nothing is definitive, the GFCF diet may significantly help a subset of the autistic population. It didn't help my son, but I've heard many first hand reports from very logical parents that it did work for their children. At this point I'm going to assume these parents aren't morons.

I think part of the reason we don't hear "the GFCF diet might work" in the media is because it's not exciting. It's not like saying she's a prostitute, or here's the cure, or those parents are just delusional.

Everyone is clamoring to be heard on the Internet, so where does that leave us, the common person. It leaves us with the responsibility of digging a little deeper. Thankfully, with the Internet you can e-mail a newspaper, professional expert or blogger and ask where they found their information. Can you send me the links? By the way, for the most part I've included my references, but if you want more information on anything I've referred to feel free to ask me.

Autistic Teen's Photograph Seen Across the Country

2011-09-24T08:44:00.000-07:00

Geoffrey and his Dad were at the Reno Air Races. This is the picture G took of the plane before it crashed, it's been on CNN, NBC, ABC, MSNBC and CBS. The night of the crash they gave it to the NTSB and it has really helped to focus their investigation.

At first G was devastated, but now he is feeling much better and is glad his photo is helping the investigation. He's been drawing some amazing pictures, I'll post some more soon.

G's Latest Paintings

2011-06-25T16:07:00.000-07:00

G continues to paint! Of course his favorite subject continues to be jets! I have found a frame for the top picture, I'll be trolling the thrift shops for the Thunderbird painting.

Some Things Can't Be Fixed

2011-06-21T07:21:00.000-07:00

On Father's day I was reading the Bible. I came across Genesis 29:32-35. It's a passage from the story of Leah a woman who's husband didn't love her. Her husband really loved her sister Rachel, but he was tricked into marrying her and after one week of marriage her husband married her sister too.

Genesis 29:32-35:
Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”

She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon.

Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi.

She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the LORD.” So she named him Judah.

I was struck by this passage for a couple of reasons, first of all thank God I'm not Leah! I can't imagine the heart ache of sharing a husband AND not being the favorite. Had I been in her situation I would have begged for change too. I would have looked at every wonderful thing happening and been sure that God was fixing my situation and making it better...

but some things can't be fixed.

Some things can't be fixed. Does that statement bother you the way it bothers me? I know God is all powerful, I know He can do anything, I know with determination and God's help I can accomplish great things. But I have found that no matter how many band-aids, prayers or hours I put into some things - they just can't be fixed because we live in a broken world.

However, some things can change and what I noticed in this passage was that Leah's perspective changed. She moved from "now my husband will love me" to "I will praise the God who loves me." Subtle but huge. Did she still wish her husband loved her? I'm gonna take a guess and say yes. Was this wish her central focus? After the fourth son, no.

When we're caught up in what we want fixed we miss out on what we could already have. I can think of nothing better than enjoying a loving God who is close to us, interested in the daily stuff of our lives, who works things out for our good in the end, who gives us peace, guidance and the unconditional love all of us crave (including Leah)!

Some things can't be fixed, but God is waiting to walk with us if we'll change our perspective.

The Language Builder ABA Cards

2011-06-12T19:33:00.000-07:00

While I was at the New York Toy Fair I had a chance to meet Angela from Stages Learning. She is a mom of an autistic child who started making ABA materials. She teamed up with an ABA therapist to make a variety of products including the Language Builder Noun cards. Right away I was impressed with Angela and knew her product had a good reputation so we started selling them at NAR.

Wow I was totally not prepared for the awesome feedback we've gotten from them so far! Yay! They work great in ABA programs and are very helpful with generalization. My only regret is that they are so expensive. The suggested retail price is $150! However, especially for therapists who work with several children the feedback thus far is that they are worth it. They are on sale now at National Autism Resources and I hope to keep them on sale until the wholesale price goes up, which I hope it doesn't.

The coolest thing is that this is another great example of a Mom creating an awesome product. Some the most helpful products I've seen have been created by Moms & therapists just trying to make the world easier. It sort of reminds me of the Handiwriter and Chewy Tubes. So yay for Angela!

Overwhelmed with Gratefulness

2011-05-13T12:32:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up and felt overwhelmed with gratefulness. I have so much to be thankful for – I’m one of the richest women in the world. As a matter fact, if you’re reading this you’re one of the richest people in the world too. If you have a computer, plenty of food to eat, a roof over your head and live in relative safety, compared to the rest of the world you are rich. Anyhow, that’s a subject for another post.

Today I just want to list a few of the things I’m grateful for in no particular order:

My family: They love me, they drive me crazy, and they bring me more joy than I could have ever imagined.

My friends: Those who know me well know I have entrenched hermit tendencies. I love nothing better than to sit in the corner and read a book or write a paper or research something. Yet these friends of mine keep calling, keep e-mailing, and keep visiting me even though at times I’m prone to depression.

My health: I have access to healthcare, a cabinet full of drugs and first aid supplies, and I’m a 10 min. drive from the hospital. Just for clarification those drugs I mentioned are all legal.

My mind: What more can I say about this? If you’re reading this and have clarity of thought you have a tremendous gift. I’ve met many people through age or injury that have lost this.

God loves me. I don’t believe God is far away he is up close and real. He helps me when I’m weak, shows me the way when I’m lost, comforts me when I’m sad and is my constant companion.

Today don’t get caught up in all those things you don’t have. I’ve met so many people who always seem to be looking ahead and never stop to just look around. The world is a beautiful place and life is a wonderful gift so enjoy it my friends.

“For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.” 2 Timothy 6:7-8

Everyone Wants Loving Relationships

2011-04-30T07:20:00.000-07:00

This year I stepped out of my comfort zone and started working with Junior Highers at my church. I did this because Grace is in the 8th grade and I wanted to do something with her together. The truth is I was scared!

I've heard lots about how hard it is to work with teens and tweens. How they can be disrespectful, run you over... What I've found is that the teens and tweens I've been working with just want a relationship. They want to know someone is interested in them, praying for them, and enjoys their company. Even if that someone is a middle aged Mom or Dad who is cluless on the latest fashion, movies and music.

Last night the group came over to my house with their Wii remotes and a snack to share. I was a little nervouse about how the night would go but it ended up being so fun. They didn't mind us trying to dance or sing with them. They loved that we jumped right in. (Here is Gary the co-leader dad doing the Monster Mash w/ the kids. They picked something "old school" that he recognized.)

Back to relationships, isn't that what all of us want? We want loving relationships where we feel accepted, encouraged and a part of a community. Sometimes we try to complicate things, make big programs, read books, go to leader training to become the best spiritual leader we can. Don't get me wrong, these things can be good. But maybe, just maybe, we lose something getting wrapped up in all of that. Maybe we need to stick to the basics of loving God and loving people.

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:37-40

Pottbelly's the Best Sandwich Ever!

2011-03-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

If you've flown lately then you know most airlines don't feed you anymore. Chips, peanuts, or maybe a bag of cookies and that's it. Unless you decide to buy a box meal which is kind of scary when you get it.

So now we're in the era of airport take with you food. Some is surprisingly good and some is surprisingly bad. For example, Peet's sold me a week old muffin or so it tasted that way!

I've found a trick to finding the best airport food- ask the stewardess. In Chicago Ruth from Southwest sent me to Potbellys. I had a three hour layover and since I didn't have breakfast (thanks to Peet's) I tried the Turkey and Swiss.

It is rare, very rare that I get excited about food, but let me tell you that sandwich was packed with yummy goodness! Believe me the picture doesn't do it justice. As if the sandwich wasn't good enough this place features fresh baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies that they continue baking throughout the day.

Knowing I was going on an almost five hour flight to California, I bought another sandwich for the trip. The sandwich was so good I told several other people who were waiting for our flight about Potbelly's and they went and bought sandwiches for the flight too. I was one of the first to board the plane and as they passed me they showed me their bags and thanked me for the tip. It felt good to help out fellow travelers.

The only bad thing about the new way of in flight eating is that you have to eat your yummy goodness next to other passengers who don't bring anything and only have crackers and peanuts. Unfortunately, this was the situation in my row. I really wish I had ran into these guys before we got on the plane! Anyhow, I felt compelled to share my sandwich but my fellow row mates said they weren't hungry. So I had Potbelly's round two while trying not to make eye contact.

Went to a Funeral

2011-03-19T16:27:00.001-07:00

I went to a funeral for a three-year-old boy today. I didn’t know the child or his family. I went to help in the kitchen and also ended up watching some children during the service. The truth is I didn't want to attend the service. While driving to the funeral I felt sad. 10 years ago my husband's first child, my stepson, died.

That year was probably the hardest year of our lives. To be honest his funeral was a blur I really don't remember much of it neither does my husband. What I do remember is watching volunteers help at the funeral and realizing that I didn't know most of them. I've helped out at several funerals for children since then. I guess it's my way of giving back because I know how feels to be completely broken.

After we had finished cleaning up in the kitchen I was getting ready to leave when I was introduced to the mother. Her first child is gone, and she's eight months pregnant with her second child. I could see she wanted to talk so I shared my story with her. And then I shared the following verse: The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Some people say God is a crutch. Some people say a person is weak if they believe in God. While I can say is yes I am weak. Gods more than a crutch to me, He's more like a wheelchair. Sometimes I feel so crushed I can’t even move without him. I'd rather be weak with Jesus than to try and live this life on my own.

Preparing for G's Triennial IEP

2011-02-26T13:02:00.001-08:00

Next week we will have G's triennial IEP. Every three years the schools do testing to see how G is performing academically and to look at how autism affects his learning. This is all done to get an accurate picture of how G’s doing, so we can develop appropriate ways to support him.

It sounds like a good thing doesn't it? The truth is every three years these tests break my heart. Am I sad that my son has autism? Honestly, not really. My son is different, and different isn’t bad it's just different. Autism gives him a unique perspective on life, unique interests, and he teaches us life lessons we could never learn if he was any other way.

So why does it break my heart? It breaks my heart because I'll see in black and white exactly why he is struggling. It's time like these any shred of denial flies out the window. It will spell out for me exactly why G is trying so hard just to keep up and learn in high school. Even though he has an extremely high IQ and a lot of motivation he currently has a C+ average. We are so proud of him for that because he's doing it on his own without an aid completely independent.

Now the school is suggesting an easy academic load for his junior year of high school. I've talked to G about it and he doesn't want to do this. He wants to continue taking the college prep classes knowing he'll probably go to a junior college. He isn't motivated to take the easy way out. So it breaks my heart when I see him so motivated and yet I know it's going to become even more challenging just to keep up. I wish I could take the challenges on for him but I can't. I wish I could fix everything so he didn't have to struggle but I can't. Instead all I can do is walk alongside him and continue to love him.

This is not the plan that I created in my mind for my son. But my son's life is not mine, and my son has decided to follow Jesus and wants his plan. As a matter of fact, he recently memorized Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” When I think of the plans I had for G I want to cry. However, my plans aren't God's plans and thank God they're not. God's plans for G are full of hope and include a prosperous future. As I review the test results this week I'm going to do my best to remember Jeremiah 29:11.

Buying Gifts for Autistic Children

2010-11-27T15:55:00.001-08:00

I'll be buying Christmas gifts for several autistic children this year. I'll buy gifts for my son who is 15 and autistic. I will also buy gifts for my dear niece who is 4 and autistic. I will also buy small gifts here and there for children of friends.

Who knew I’d become an expert at buying gifts for autistic children? I never would've guessed that autism would hit so close to home. It's a little different when you buy a Christmas gift for an autistic child in some ways it can be easier.

For example, my son has such an intense interest in jets and Star Wars that it's easy for me to find him gifts. The trick is to get these gifts early before stores run out of things. When my friend buys a gift for her autistic child, she has to start really early because he has an intense interest in bridges.

My son, like many autistic children, is highly visual. Visually interesting gifts are always a big hit in our house. This year I'm going to give him a sand panel. Colored sand smoothly glides down when you flip it over. It's relaxing to look at and will look nice in his room. Also, many of the junior high age neighborhood kids have seen it and confirm that it is “cool”.

For my autistic niece there is a sense of urgency in terms of her gifts. My parents have asked me to help pick out her gifts because we are hoping they will be enjoyable and therapeutic.

Victoria is now four and has been involved in a wonderful early intervention preschool as well as an intensive behavioral program for a couple of years. Her vocabulary is limited, but she is starting to talk. Recently she put four words together. She said, “look da spider look” and motioned for her mom to see the spider on the wall.

Here are the Christmas gifts I've found for Victoria. These would probably be good gifts for autistic children in preschool. Actually, they would be good gifts for any preschooler since they were not developed specifically for autistic children.

Alphie Robot. Alphie comes with tons of cards that you place on his tummy. He asks the child to pick the right color, object, number. He gives immediate praise for correct answers, asks the child to try again if they miss and will provide the correct answer. He makes several happy faces. I think he will be great for expanding vocabulary and creating an interest in faces for

Victoria. Right now she doesn't understand emotions at all so I'm hoping the simple smile and Alphie’s cute eyes will lay the foundation and interest in learning about emotions.

Photo Match-Ups There are lots of memory games to choose from I like this one the best because it has photorealistic pictures with the white background. Memory is a game that works well for visually oriented people so she should enjoy it. The large selections of cards should also help work on expanding her vocabulary. The best way to play this game is to systematically introduce new cards as soon as she learns the vocabulary of the card she is playing with.

Where Is Puppy Listening Lotto should be a good gift to help with auditory processing as well as teach prepositions. Since Victoria is pointing at objects now is probably a good time to start introducing prepositions. Plus the puppy is cute and she likes puppies.

Basic Skills Board I love this board by Melissa and Doug it's great for teaching kids dressing skills. Plus it's fun because when you undress the Bear you find him in his underwear. It's good for helping develop fine motor skills and I hope will encourage Victoria to dress herself.

One month away and I’m proud to say I’m done with my Christmas shopping. Now I will focus on baking, enjoying my family and celebrating the birth of Christ! If you still need to pick up some presents please visit our Autism Shop!

Spinning Toys and Autism

2010-11-13T11:26:00.000-08:00

Many children with autism love spinning toys. However parents are concerned about giving their children spinning toys because they don't want to encourage self stimulatory behavior. If you've ever watched your child's stare at a fan for an hour it can be heartbreaking.

However, I do feel there is a place for spinning toys and autism. Spinning toys can be great reinforcers in an ABA program. Or spinning toys can be a very enjoyable Christmas gift or birthday gift. When supervised properly spinning toys can actually be helpful for children with autism. For example, having a spinning toy that the child really enjoys in your purse can be really helpful when you need to get some last-minute grocery shopping done. Or letting the child play with the spinning toy may allow the whole family to go out to dinner.

As you can probably tell, I'm from the standpoint that nothing is black-and-white. Anything can be used as a tool to help a child with autism or to help a family make it through the day.

With that said here is a list of my favorite spinning toys for autism:

Light Spinners: spinning lights flicker and change when you hold down the button. There is a large sized light spinner and a small sized light spinner. The large-size light spinner is nice for ABA programs or as a gift. However, the mini light spinner has a breakaway necklace so your child with autism can wear it when you're running errands.

Any kind of light twirler. At National Autism Resources we carry an airplane twirler. (I guess I'm biased because of G’s overwhelming preoccupation with airplanes.)

Light up Mini Fans: Can I just say I love light up mini fans! Just press the button and the fans start spinning and the lights light up. These are also nice for times when it’s hot outside. They can be very helpful for a child who enjoy spinning toys and has to ride the bus when it's hot. Also the blades are plastic so if you touch them they don't hurt. They are also on sale now at National Autism Resources, which is nice!

Tops: there are all kinds of tops to choose from in all kinds of shapes or sizes. Some Tops make music or even light up when they spin.

My all time favorite spinning toy is the Spectra Rail Twirler. Why is it my favorite? I guess for a couple of reasons first of all both my children love it. Once you get it going it's really fun to watch and play with. I myself enjoy playing with it, especially when I'm bored, or watching TV.

So that's my take on spinning toys for autism. With Christmas coming if you're a parent and you feel like your child would enjoy a spinning toy, don’t feel guilty about it! At the end of the day children are children and a gift is a gift. If you feel your child with autism would enjoy a spinning toy I say go for it. It may help you when you're in a tough situation and your child will enjoy it. Also, if you reading this I'm sure you're a good parent. You're trying to figure out what's best for your child. If that's your motivation then I'm sure you will allow your child to use the toy appropriately.

Why Me?

2010-10-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

Do you ever struggle with why me? Why did this happen to me? Why does my child have to struggle so hard? Why is my family hurting?

I’ve been caught up in it. A big why me went like this; all my life I wanted a Mama’s boy, a boy full of affection who I could take walks with, tuck into bed and talk to, why can’t he go to sleep? Why can’t I give him a proper hug? Why can’t he just say, I love you?

Why does my son have autism?

Why, why, why…

It’s easy for me to fall into a pity party. I’ve been judged, anyone ever here, “if you just disciplined your son you wouldn’t have these problems.” I’ve felt attacked. Anyone else have a disagreement in an IEP, one against ten? I’ve been accused of resorting to quackery. Has anyone ever given your child a food you asked them not to?

Poor, poor, poor me…

You know what I’ve learned, to put it bluntly, this type of thinking sucks. It doesn’t help me, encourage me, or give me any kind of strength. As a matter of fact, this kind of thinking can cause me to fall deeper into depression, immobilize me, and can fill me with fear.

When I get caught up in these moments in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy language I work on retraining my thoughts. The bible calls this “taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”

This is what retraining my thoughts looks like.

Autism has humbled me. Before I had my son I had a successful career, but I was shallow and prideful. I would have been the one to tell you, “just give me your child for a weekend and I bet I can get him back on track. After all everyone knows, poorly behaved children are a result of poor parenting skills…"

Autism has changed my perspective on what’s important. Today I’m thankful for a healthy family, thankful my son can talk, thankful my marriage is intact, thankful I have enough food to eat, a roof over my head and a means of continuing to provide that for my family. Take a look at the world many people can’t say that.

Autism has drawn me closer to God. I don’t believe that God is punishing me. That’s simply not the truth of the Bible. I believe God is using “all things for good.” I’m a better, stronger, more tolerant, understanding, and forgiving person now. I can relate to so many more people. I don’t want to pretend to be perfect, or have it all together, perfect people aren’t approachable and they aren’t real. I’m flawed just like you, and I want to love you! Not because I’m mother Teresa, believe me I’m not! But because God has loved on me through this and given me more love to share, “my cup over flows.”

I do my best to answer my why me’s now simply with this statement:

Autism is a trial and it is a gift. I know God uses all things for His good because I can see it in my life.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:3-6

Fighting for Geometry

2010-10-04T16:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes on the inside I just want to scream. You can look at me I look calm, I talk intelligently, but on the inside my mind is going crazy. This happened at my son's latest IEP. His math teacher didn't want to put G in regular Geometry. G had a B- the last semester of Algebra and he didn't want to put G in regular Geometry? When I asked him why, he said that he didn't think G could "handle it."

As soon as I heard that a slew of curse words went running through my mind, I could feel my muscles tense up, and I had to take a deep breath because I wanted to take that teacher by his tie and string him up!

Its time like these I have inner wars with myself. I'm suppose to love my enemies according to the teachings of Jesus. Enemies against me and what I want to do I can handle that, but when I perceive someone as against my son...

I'll be honest I wasn't kind, I wasn't very civil, but I didn't lash out. Instead I asked if anyone else with a B average had to take remedial Geometry?

"No, but that's not the point. I don't think he can handle it."

With a slew of obscenities flying through my mind, I prayed God please help me because I want this guy to go down. Then I said, "I think my son deserves the same opportunities as any other student. I'm not asking for special accommodations, a tutor, or exceptions. I'm just asking you to treat him like anyone else. I'll never sign an IEP that I feel violates my son's rights."

At this point the administrator broke in and said something like of course G could go into regular Geometry and if we need to switch classes mid semester we can look at it. To be honest I can't remember exact words because I was in a blur, trying to hold myself together, trying not to give the math teacher the evil eye, trying to be like Jesus.

Then the meeting was over, I got what I felt G needed, and everyone seemed fine. I'm glad I didn't burn another bridge. I know this might sound crazy, but I don't feel angry towards the math teacher I just feel peaceful.

Cheap Food Makes Animals & People Sick

2010-09-23T08:08:00.000-07:00

My dog is allergic to corn and wheat fillers in her dog food! Her skin was turning black, she was constantly itching, and she started to stink really bad. So I took her up to the local pet store and they recommended I change her diet and I bought some oatmeal shampoo for her.

Since I've put her on the special diet her black rash is almost gone, she's not itchy or fidgety as much and she doesn't smell so bad.

Bottom line: cheap food makes people and animals sick!!! I know we talk a lot about vaccinations, but maybe we need to seriously look at our mass market food supply. I just watched a documentary called King Corn what an eye opener!

Win Over $100 in Sensational Prizes

2010-09-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

I've partnered with Our Journey Through Autism for a "30 for 30" event to celebrate the SPD's Foundation's 30th anniversary.

Three winners will receive over $100 in prizes including:

My book: Starting Sensory Integration Therapy

A Fidget Set
Body Sox

Danceland CD & Booklet

28 Instant Songames CD

Wikki Stix Activity Set

To enter pick up a copy of Starting Sensory Integration Therapy: Fun Activities That Won't Destroy Your Home or Classroom. Buy one or borrow a copy from your local library. Next, select 1-3 activities to do with your child. As you are doing these activities, take notes, take pictures, or take video. If you want to get creative, make a montage, slide show or video. Then, submit everything to OJTA for publication throughout Sensory Awareness Month.

Submission Deadline is September 25th 2010 Act Quickly!

Life is Good in Arnwineland

2010-08-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

Life is good in Arnwineland. We bought a house!

The Hubbo & I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary!

My little girl had her braces taken off! We celebrated by eating corn on the cob!

I finally have a tomato plant, that I have managed not to kill! (An amazing feat for one with a black thumb...)

Sensory Info To Help with the Start of School

2010-08-26T10:35:00.001-07:00

There are so many good articles out there now with sensory tips for starting school. Rather than reinvent the wheel I thought I would share some particularly good ones with you:

Sensory Diet Applications and Environmental Modifications
This extensive article by Victoria L. Nackley, OTR/L will give you tons of ideas for developing a sensory diet at home and school.

Hartley's Blog: Sensory Diet for School
Along the same lines as the link above, this nice little blog piece is by a Mom who shares her son's sensory diet. I thought it was great, especially the part about packing a lunch with different food textures - genius!

Surviving Sitting
This is an article I wrote for National Autism Resources with tips to help students sit & focus in class without using medication.

Back To School with Sensory Smarts
This is from Nancy Peske & Lindsey Biel's website Sensory Smarts. It has transition ideas, communication ideas and a few tips on accommodations. Also check out their tips for teachers.

Sensory Sensitivities & the School Bus
This article is short and sweet. If my son were still riding the bus I would print it out and hand it to his driver and his classroom teacher.

If you have a favorite article to add please share it!

You Are Not a Mistake

2010-08-18T08:53:00.001-07:00

My son started his second year of high school today. I know this is going to sound like a cliché, but I remember sending him off to kindergarten like it was yesterday. He knows he has autism, he knows that some things that are easy for others are hard for him. He knows that in some subjects he has to work much harder to keep up. In junior high he went through a time where he didn't want to be different.

He felt like he was a mistake.

It's hard to watch somebody go through something like that. However, deep within my heart I know he is not a mistake. I know that he was made to be exactly the way he is. I know that God is going to do something great through him. Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” My son is no accident. He's a wonderfully made work of art. He was created by a God who wants to be close to him, to guide him, and to use him to do something wonderful.

I remind him of this often.

I believe this with all my heart about my kids.

I believe this about myself.

I believe this about you.

ABA intervention for Autism

2010-08-18T08:50:00.000-07:00

I'm a big believer in intensive ABA programs for young children with autism. ABA uses a one-on-one teaching approach, under the supervision of a behavioralist. ABA ideally should be done 20-40 hours a week. Controlled trials have shown ABA improves social skills and language when provided for at least 25-40 hours per week for 2 years (Lord & McGee, 2001). Efficacy is greatest when behavioral interventions are used early, but improved skills have been reported with adolescents and adults (Weiss & Harris, 2001). For us personally we saw very fast gains in receptive and expressive language. Those gains slowed down when it came to social skills. I
m not saying ABA should be the only option, but according to the research it should be the main option for young children with autism. you can visit National Autism Resources for more information on Autism ABA materials.

The Best Fidget Toys Ever

2010-08-13T17:22:00.000-07:00

I review lots of products, books, toys, and games. I just found one thing that's been out for a long time and I can't believe I never saw it! Out of all of the fidget toys I've seen this is the best - the Tangle Relax. I have always been a fan of Tangle toys. They work well as a classroom fidget because they are durable and quiet.

However, forget all the other fidget toys you used in the past, I’m telling you right now the Tangle Relax is the best! I love it, my son loves it, and my daughter loves it. It’s similar to the Tangle toy in that it offers lots of finger movement. However, this Tangle has a clear layer of bumpy rubber over the top of it. It feels phenomenal.

When you start playing with the Tangle Relax It is literally addicting. As a matter of fact, I couldn't get it back from my kids. So I broke it in half and made two mini Tangle Relaxes for both of them. I actually think it's even better as a fidget toy now that it's smaller! The original size of the Tangle Relax literally gets both of your hands totally involved. It is extremely engaging. When I broke it in half it still offers a great tactile fidget experience, but on a smaller scale. This is so cool for two reasons: first of all it's like having two toys in one, which is great for people who tend to lose things and second of all it's just enough of a fidget to help someone stay focused. I'm telling you this is the best fidget toy ever.

I love this thing so much I asked National Autism Resources to put it on sale in the autism shop, which they did. So if you are looking for a good fidget toy I am telling you this is it.

Update 6/12/11: I just wanted to update that this toy is still going strong! It got a little dirty so I washed it with dish soap and let it air dry and it's good as new! I love this fidget!!

Auditory Processing

2010-07-30T09:32:00.000-07:00

Children with auditory processing problems often don't recognize subtle differences between sounds in words, even though the sounds themselves are loud and clear. For example, “Tell me how a chair and a couch are alike” may sound like “Tell me how a couch and a chair are alike.” Or “Tell me how a cow and a hair are alike.” This can be especially problematic in a noisy environment or when listening to complex information. So you can see how auditory processing can be a big challenge in the classroom.

As G. continues into the second year of high school more and more information is being presented in a lecture format. Although he loves science, last year he almost flunked this subject because the student next to him kept talking during class time. Now we're dealing with seven teachers, who have five classes of at least 30 students. Although they should read his IEP, most of them won't. So I’m finding that it's extremely important for me to be proactive in communicating with them. I find that it's much better to provide short tips, or cheat sheets because like all of us these teachers are busy.

So I'll meet with them the week before school starts and I'll talk to them about auditory processing. Some of the things I'll ask them to look for are:

Don't assume G. understands, check for understanding.
watch for and expected answers or a limited response to questions.
Be open to restating questions or directions.
Watch out for double meanings (last year G got in a lot of trouble with the word “gay”).
Remember auditory processing will become more pronounced in a noisy environment.

It's amazing some teachers will really respond to this, they'll give me their e-mail address and take an interest in G. On the other hand, some teachers will be polite but they'll just think I'm an overbearing, overprotective mother, and that this is just another thing that's popped up on the horizon. Classes will be more challenging this year and I hope to keep G. in public school. High school is a great place to learn how to deal with complex social situations and gain more independence. I'll keep you posted.

Torn

2010-07-22T09:36:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned before I love to read. I like to read a variety of books, some on autism, biographies, historical fiction, and an occasional mystery. I've also mentioned before that I'm trying to keep balance in my life. I'm easily consumed by guilt, fear of the future, and other burdens around me. When I become consumed I stop taking care of myself and become hyper focused, usually on the a-word (autism). Funny enough this always shows up in my reading.

For example, a few weeks ago I read Making Sense of Children's Thinking and Behavior, One, Two, Three Potty!, re-read Building Bridges through Sensory Integration... and then a little red flag went up in my mind. The vicious cycle was starting again, I wasn't putting on makeup, was spending way too much time looking up research papers, and my family was irritating me, I was back on the familiar road of losing myself.

At this point in my life you would think this wouldn't be an issue. I know I'm supposed to take care of myself, but it's so easy to let myself go. Sometimes when I take care of myself I feel guilty. You see this is where my feelings and my head don't match up. My feelings of love for my family drive me to find answers, to make things better, go further. However, my head says don't do this again, you've got to take care of yourself, you are not being selfish. So often times living in balance for me means balancing between what I know and how I feel. It's a strange conflicting place to be at times.

That's how life really is for me. People say I'm a great mom, advocate, whatever... really I'm a person who is often torn and makes lots of mistakes, sometimes the same mistakes over and over again. I imagine if you're reading this I'm just like you trying to do the best I can.

Choosing Not to Be Offended

2010-07-11T11:44:00.000-07:00

I have been described as easy-going. When I take those personality tests I usually fall into the “sanguine" category. If you invite me to lunch I don't care where we go, I'll eat just about anything. What's important to me is that you invited me to lunch, and I get to spend time with you. I once heard a pastor say that he and his wife decided that they would not get offended. I thought about that for a long time. Deciding not to be offended by others means that you automatically give them the benefit of the doubt.

I heard that quote when I was 22, and I decided to follow their example. It's not always easy to assume the best of others. Especially when I feel like I'm being judged, or I feel a need to protect my ego. What does protecting my ego look like? Well it usually go something like this:

I try something new, which I do all the time, and I fail. Then someone comes along and points out my failure, and proceeds to tell me how I should have done things. Now at this point I can usually see my mistakes so it doesn't feel good to have someone point it out to me. My ego kicks in and I want to make myself look good, I want to justify myself, or say something sarcastic, to put the other person in their place...

However, if I do that then I'm judging the other person's motives. Also, when I do that, I usually don't feel good afterwards. So I'm trying to bite my tongue, say thank you for the advice and move on. I notice that these situations tend to happen a lot with younger parents. You see they are excited, their child is making progress, they're feeling good about where they are in life and they're eager to help others. I understand that feeling and the desire to help, and I'm sure I've said a lot of stupid things to other parents as well.

I feel a lot better when I think of people in this light. It also helps me to follow the words of Jesus: You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. (Matthew 7:5).

Becoming independent

2010-07-01T15:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I start to slack off I get comfortable with the way things are. Then I remember that I'm on a journey to train my son to be independent. After all nobody wants to live with their parents forever. I hope to give Geoffrey all the tools he needs to be as independent as possible. He’ll be turning 15 this month and he's come farther than I ever could have imagined.

So now I'm becoming very conscious of all the little things I need to teach him. For example,
Being the growing teenager that he is I've had to start teaching him how to make his own food. It amazes me that some things that seem so simple can be so hard for him. For example, learning to make cereal. The slightest spill of milk could really cause him to get upset. Rather than quickly wiping up the spill G. would clean the whole counter and by the time he got back to the cereal it was all soggy. It's that problem solving thing again. You see I taught him how to clean the counter, but I didn't teach him how to cleanup a small spill.

Another thing we've learned how to use is a plunger. G. has to learn how to unclog the toilet. Someday he'll need to know how to do it. I felt kind of guilty teaching him how to do this. At first he tried to do everything he could to get out of doing this. And truth be told, it was easier for me just to do it rather than try and get him to do it himself. However, being a teenager, and a frequent clogger, I decided it was time for him to learn how to do this himself. I'm happy to report he is now an expert plunger.

The nice thing about teaching G. to be independent is that I think it makes him happier. It also makes life easier for me. At first it takes a lot of extra work, but the payoff is worth it.

Sensory Issues

2010-06-03T17:05:00.000-07:00

As you might have noticed I blog a lot about sensory issues. That's because our family has lots of sensory issues. From, shoes, to chewing, to smells we have challenges. I'm passionate about sensory integration because it has drastically improved the quality of my son's life. Along with autism sensory issues were debilitating, making it almost impossible for him to leave the house.

My sensory issues are mild, although they can cause me to act strange at times. Like yesterday, while at Macy's looking for a bathing suit I inadvertently walked too close to the perfume isle. Big mistake, I don't know what it is about smells, but they knock me out. I started to get a headache, so I held my breath, covered my nose and ran out of the store.

My husband, who is use to this, finished up his shopping and met me outside. Its nice to be loved the way you are. No why are you acting weird, or why can't you handle it... Instead he just knew I'd be outside waiting, and I knew he would come out when he was done.

I hear people say this isn't fair, why me, why my child... I'm tired of that type of thinking. I am who I am, and the family I have is the family I have. I don't care about what I should or could have done... Today I'm going to enjoy the people I love.

BTW Martianne reviewed my book. She gave it a nice review. Thank you Martianne!

Free Sensory Integration Teleseminar

2010-06-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

I did an interview with Debi from Healing with the Experts on Sensory Integration. You can sign up and listen for free the day of the seminar here. Seminar day is Thursday June 3rd, my spot is at 2:00pm EST. After June 3rd, you can purchase downloads. I'm interested in listening to Kath Smith at 6:00pm EST since I have never heard her speak before.

Parents of kids with autism not more likely to divorce, study suggests

2010-05-30T09:18:00.000-07:00

A new study by the Kennedy Krieger Institute, based on nearly 78,000 children from the 2007 National Survey of Children's Health, showed that divorce is not more common in families affected by autism!

The study was based on a snapshot -- the marital status of the survey participants at the time. It was not a study over time.

What I found interesting is that it's unclear where the the 80 percent divorce rate figure originated. Autism experts at the institute said they had not found any scientific research citing that number. (Another case of a myth perpetuated becoming a reality.)

You can read the compete article here.

This Christian's Thoughts on the Death Penalty

2010-05-25T19:07:00.000-07:00

In 2000 my stepson, Dustin Arnwine, died. Through the conviction of the Holy Spirit, my husband felt compelled in court to forgive the man responsible for his death. I'm always shocked by the response of many Christians when I tell them I'm against the death penalty. I could talk for a long time about the injustices in our current judicial system regarding this issue. But the truth is I didn't come to this position because of that. I am against the death penalty because I follow Jesus and I believe He doesn't want me to support it.

If you are a Jesus follower, here are a few things I hope you will prayerfully consider.

A few thought from the New Testament

We are now dwelt with the Holy Spirit and commanded to love our enemies Luke 6:27,28. In John 8 when the woman was caught in adultery, Jesus stopped the stoning and told her to go and sin no more, in effect he stopped her execution. Stephen, the first Christian martyr, as he was dying “fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep.” Acts 7:60

What does Jesus say about murder?

Matthew 5:21-22: You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.

Matthew 5:38-39: You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

I believe all human life is sacred. We are all made in God's image. He loves everyone, and has the power to change anyone. Need some proof of this? Just check out Abounding Love Ministries , its just one example of what God is currently doing through a convicted murderer:

Getting Ready for an IEP

2010-05-18T17:31:00.000-07:00

I'm getting ready for my son's 10th grade IEP. After homeschooling him through Junior High we now have him in High School. He is fully mainstreamed, without an assistant, with all college prep classes. My main goal is to prepare him to be as independent as possible while we still have the bubble of High School. I also want to make sure that he has the opportunity to learn and do well. So this is the list of educational concerns I have for G. (I always call them "considerations" in IEP's because I am very careful to use neutral language during IEP's, I may post on that another time.)

Educational Considerations for G Arnwine

Visual Learner:
G learns best by watching. It is important he has a clear view of the teacher and any demonstrations. Visual examples allow G to work independently.

Auditory Processing:
G does not always process all of the information he hears. He has learned to compensate by nodding & saying ‘yes’ or ‘OK’ when speaking to people. Note: he may not always realize he didn’t process what the teacher has told him. To be sure he understands directions or an explanation ask him to clarify for you or restate what you have said. You can ask him simple questions like:

“Tell me what you need to do.”
“What do you need to bring tomorrow?”
“How will you turn in your work?”

Background noise/ student distractions:
Because auditory processing is difficult for G it is very important that he not sit next to noisy students. If he tells you he can’t hear, or he can’t concentrate it will not get better, unless he is moved or the problem is dealt with.

Executive Functioning:
(Executive functions allow us to anticipate outcomes and adapt to changing situations. The ability to form concepts and think abstractly are often considered components of executive function. ) G is very good about doing assignments, he is conscientious and wants to do a good job. He may not know or remember how and when to turn in assignments especially if asked to do something in a manner that is not routine. This can be the case with make up assignments.

He needs help problem solving. What may seem like a simple solution to you may need to be spelled out for G. He has trouble connecting the dots.

Social Interaction:
G does not know how to initiate social interaction. This puts him at a disadvantage for group activities & partner quizzes he will need help getting into a group. This can be as simple as G why don’t you partner with _______ or G join group____.

G often interprets things people say literally. He often does not understand sarcasm. From time to time he has run into situations with his classmates that he will need help with. This also sets him up for bullying.

Social problems will affect G’s academic performance. G has problems focusing on more than one thing. If he is stuck trying to solve a social problem, he can’t focus on class work. We saw this first semester in Science.

Not Just Spirited Book Review

2010-05-11T21:37:00.000-07:00

I recently read “Not Just Spirited” a Mom’s Sensational Journey with Sensory Processing Disorder by Chynna T. Laird. The story chronicles Chynna’s journey toward a diagnoses and finding help for her daughter with Sensory Processing Disorder.

From the time little Jamie is born, she is a very difficult child. As Chynna shares her concerns with her pediatrician and family she is constantly dismissed. It is only when Jamie’s difficulties become so pronounced that the pediatrician makes the recommendation Jamie needs for an evaluation.

When Jamie is finally diagnosed with SPD she is put on endless waiting lists. Since Jamie only has SPD she is not given the same priority for intervention as another child might receive. I wish this was a piece of fiction, but unfortunately this is happening all over the United States and Canada.

Its one thing to work with special needs children; it is quite another thing to live with one. I think every professional that works with special needs children should read this book. Chynna paints a poignant picture of the stress and desperation of raising a child with special needs. It’s not OK for parents to fight for years to have their concerns for their child addressed. It’s not OK when parents finally receive a diagnosis to watch their child struggle while they are put on endless waiting lists with no significant help!

SPD is still not in the DSM maybe we should send a copy of this book to the members of the committee.

Blog Interview

2010-05-06T15:37:00.000-07:00

I was interviewed by Caitlin Wray of Welcome to Normal. You can read the interview here.

Facing the Boogie Man: Being Flexible Part 2

2010-04-24T21:17:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned in the last post, G has been very agitated and angry because he realized he had not been keeping up on the new Clone Wars episodes. This all came to a head again last weekend because the Clone Wars finale was scheduled. As most of us know people with autism rely heavily on routines. I believe some routines are good especially in school and work. Routines can help people with autism be more independent and less anxious.

However, an over reliance on routines can make a person become inflexible and agitated when their routine is not followed. This was our case with the Clone Wars.

I try to consistently break up G's routines and give him little challenges. The hard part for me is that many times he develops routines that I am not aware of. When these routines are disrupted he gets very upset. He feels like something bad will happen to him if they are broken. Well sometimes you've gotta face the boogie man.

In our case, this meant watching the shows out of order. So I sent the Hubbo and GA out and sat G down to watch an episode out of order. At first G didn't want to. So I bribed him with an iTunes card and Oreos. He cried as we started the first episode and was very tense. As he started watching I saw his muscles relax and he became interested in the show. We then continued to watch episodes, as many as we could, until he was caught up. He was worried he would not understand what was happening, but he was able to follow just fine.

After the shows were over I let G go and relax in his room. The next day I talked with him about what happened. He was relaxed so I could explain to him that it was nobody's fault that he missed an episode. We talked about feeling like hitting someone and making the choice not to hit. I let G now how proud I was that he didn't hit anyone and that he made a wise choice. I also reminded him that this is a very important choice because he is big and can hurt someone badly without meaning to.

Its very important now that I help G understand his actions, that I debrief him. I have found its best to wait a day before we talk. When he is agitated it is harder for him to focus on what I am saying to him. I do this because:

I'm trying to help him celebrate his good choices so he feels good about himself.

I want to remind him of important life lessons and possible consequences of bad choices.

I want to take advantage of every teaching opportunity possible, because at this point he is open to it.

It's Hard to be Flexible

2010-04-24T21:11:00.000-07:00

This weekend G has been very agitated and angry because he realized he had not been keeping up on the new Clone Wars episodes. Star Wars is a big deal for him, but Air shows are bigger and Dad had taken him to some shows the last few weekends.

G searched the Internet and realized he was three episodes behind. He thought he could watch them online. However, one episode was not available at Cartoon Network.
I tried to explain to G and that it’s OK to watch certain shows out of order. However, he replied "That's not the way I do things. I like to watch things in order it’s the way I do it." An hour of Internet searching revealed that he could only watch a "grainy" version of the missing episode.

This led to anger, frustration, then blaming his sister. G started saying it was all her fault. "She should have let me on the computer when I wanted to." When he gets like this I have to address it quickly. He can become very mean; shaking fists feeling like he wants to hit her...

I explained that this was not his sister's fault. G had lots of time after school to get on the computer. He could have talked to me and I would have scheduled time for him. We talked about his sister for about five minutes, and then it became Dad's fault. (God give me strength here...)

Again I had to talk to him and explain that it was not Dad's fault. Still feeling angry, G decided to focus his energy on how horrible our house is. Being angry at inanimate objects is better than nothing so I let it go. We were dealing with this for a good 45 minutes and I needed a break!

Frustrated, I lamented my situation on Twitter. I noticed @myautisticson (love him) happened to be tweeting about meltdowns. He ran out of apple juice at his house which started some commotion. We tweeted and he shared his strategy, which boils down to this: alleviate the anxiety by helping your child understand how the problem will be resolved.

He shared the example of his son getting upset because there was no more apple juice. He showed his son the empty bottle of juice then explained that he would take a shower, get dressed, go to the store, buy juice and bring it home. This took away the unknown of when the juice would arrive and his son was fine.

Well I tried this approach.

I went into G's room, he was still upset. I took in some paper and a pencil because sometimes it helps to write when he gets like this. I said son, let's talk about your Clone Wars problem. Immediately he got angry and said, "I can't watch them out of order." I said, "Here let’s write down the steps to fix this." His reply, "that's stupid I don't want to do that." (Thanks a lot puberty!) At this point I thought out loud, "maybe our neighbor's have the episodes on TiVo since their son is a fan." Well guess what, the neighbors ARE GONE this weekend. The son has been going outside to look for their truck on the hour every hour since I said this. Its 10:00pm Saturday night, his PJs are on and I told him no more going out side.

Lord have mercy, pray for me!

Love Yourself Get Some Sleep

2010-04-23T20:05:00.001-07:00

Did you know that lack of sleep, or insomnia, is one of the signs of depression? Lack of sleep alone can't cause depression, but it can make it worse. Now take into account that many children with autism sleep poorly.

A study by the UC Davis Mind Institute found that children with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs) woke up in the middle of the night way more than typically developing kids regardless of their cognitive ability (Krakowiak P, Goodlin-Jones B, Hertz-Picciotto I, Croen LA, Hansen RL).

At one point I figured I had not slept through the night in over five years. When my son started sleeping through the night I still couldn't. It was like my body had become hyper vigilant. I could wake up at the slightest sound. For several years I would wake up and do work, think, or read. I started to rationalize this behavior as my alone time. My time to be productive. However, the truth was my poor sleep was escalating my depression and making it difficult for me to be productive during the day.

So with the encouragement of a therapist I began a journey to learn to sleep again. I began by exercising good sleep hygiene:

I started to go to bed at the same time every night.

I stopped drinking caffeine after lunch.
I started to read before I went to sleep. Did you know most people only need to read for about 15 minutes and then they fall asleep? However, TV can actually keep you awake. The theory is the lights from the TV actually stimulates your brain.

I made sure to have dinner at a regular time well before I went to sleep (around 6:00).

I made sure the bedroom temperature felt comfortable.

To help keep the noise level low I started sleeping with a fan. At first this made me uncomfortable. I thought what if my son did get up I couldn't hear him? So I bought a baby monitor and set the volume on high. If my son did get up I would hear him over the white noise.

Some nights I couldn't stop thinking about things. I would work out problems in my head, make lists and think of them over and over again. I started keeping a small notepad by my bed. When my thoughts were keeping me awake, I would write them down. This helped me to relax and go to sleep.

I also had to stop taking naps during the day.

At first I had to use drugs to go to sleep. After I got into a pattern I began to wean myself off them. It took almost a year, but it was really worth it. If you are not getting sleep, and your kid is sleeping through the night, please take care of yourself and make a commitment to retrain your body to sleep again.

House Search Blues

2010-04-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

Well as I've mentioned for awhile now my husband and I are looking to buy a home. We have even written a nice letters hoping they will make a difference.

Here is the last one I wrote:

Hello! My name is Bonnie and my husband's name is Geoff. I was born and raised in Southern CA and graduated from UC Davis in 1990. My husband served in the Navy from 1984-1989. He went on to become an aircraft mechanic and worked his way up and is now the Director of Maintenance for Bridgeford Flying Services in Napa CA. We have two kids our son G is 14 and our daughter GA is 12.

When our son was three, he was diagnosed with autism. At that time almost no one new about autism, and we had a lot to learn. While our friends bought houses and advanced in their careers we spent all of our time, money, and energy on therapy to help him learn to talk and interact with the world. He is 14 now and doing well at BHS, we are very proud of him. In 2008 we launched National Autism Resources to help other parents affected by autism. We answer questions from parents all over the country and sell inexpensive products to help kids with autism.

We have been renting in Benicia and are excited to finally buy our first home. We hope to have a place that we can raise our kids and depending on our son’s abilities, take care of him for the long run. We will need to change a few things in the home to make it work for our family, but, we love what you have done to it. The antique furniture and wood floors are exceptionally beautiful to us.

We hope that you will consider our offer, and we hope to meet you in person soon.

Now after reading that wouldn't you want to sell to us?

Even with our nice letters we still can't seem to get a house! Two things keep happening: people with cash, come in and buy the houses cheaper than what we offer. Banks selling the homes don't want to deal with VA loans. So here we are still waiting. We put another offer in yesterday we'll see what happens!

Embracing Autism vs. Finding a Cure, and who the heck is Ari Ne'eman...

2010-04-13T09:20:00.000-07:00

Right now there are two groups advocating for autistics, one is committed to doing all they can to find a cure (Autism Speaks, Age of Autism) the other is fighting for neurodiversity (Autistic Self-Advocacy Network). Those fighting for neurodiversity don't see autism as tragic, but as another way of being and think that those focused on a cure are rabid "curebies" who don't appreciate autistic people. Those focused on finding a cure feel the other group is crazy and counter productive.

This has all come to a head since recently Air Ne’eman, the founder of the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, has been nominated to the National Council on Disability. Ten years ago he would have been confirmed no problem, now there is an anonymous hold on his confirmation.

Now I am being asked how I feel about Ari.

Let me begin by saying our family has done everything in our power to help my son. We've tried too many approaches to count, some worked and some were a waste of time, money and energy. My son is doing incredibly well, he no longer exhibits self injurious behavior, he is verbal, high functioning, and probably would be considered to have Aspergers at this point. One day he may be able to live on his own we don't know yet. This year he began High School fully mainstreamed without an aid. Meanwhile, last year my dear friend's son went into a group home for the safety of herself and her son.

The therapies that my friends and I fought for and lost our homes, marriages and sanity for are now considered routine, safe and effective. There is now irrefutable evidence that shows kids on the spectrum can learn if given the right tools and mode of instruction. (G did not turn into a robot after participating in ABA...) Are all kids getting all of the services they need at this point? No. Does more need to be done? Absolutely! Do we need to research why the incidences of autism are increasing, of course we do.

As we keep looking for a cause, and fighting for appropriate interventions, let's also celebrate who are kids are becoming and support them in any way possible. My son is not neurotypical and most likely never will be. I'm looking for understanding. I love my son, I love his personality, and I love the person he is becoming. He is a visual thinker who has a fascination with flight, air flow, and wing design. He's going to need extra help in life, but my desire, my passionate desire is that people will embrace him as he is, and that he will feel proud of himself.

With that said, I also say lets support the autistic adults who are now speaking for themselves. Ari Ne’eman will not stop funding for a cure or early intervention in his new position. Let’s remember the National Council on Disability, purpose is to “promote policies, programs, practices, and procedures that guarantee equal opportunity for all individuals with disabilities, and that empower individuals with disabilities to achieve economic self-sufficiency, independent living, and inclusion and integration into all aspects of society.” By opposing Ari we are blocking a passionate advocate who will fight for our children’s future rights and opportunities.

How do I feel about Ari Ne’eman? I support him.

What is enough?

2010-04-10T21:28:00.000-07:00

My husband and I have been looking for a house, hoping to become first time home owners. Its an interesting journey with lots of talk about what we "can" afford. The question we both keep coming back to is what do we need? What is enough?

I remember when both my children were very young my husband and I lived in Hayward CA. We had one car, so I often put my children in a stroller and walked to the grocery store. One day a man was shot and killed in broad daylight right where I often walked. I prayed and asked God to please move us. About six months later, we were able to move to Concord CA.

When I moved to Concord I was thrilled with our new home. It was a two bedroom duplex in a a cul de sac. It was neat, clean and best of all safe. After a few months I was invited to dessert at another woman's house. I decided to go with a new friend from church. The next evening when I met my friend at her house I was stunned. It was so beautiful with a nice large kitchen, living room, dining room, each child had their own room and they had a garden in the back. I always wanted a house like that.

We left together for the gathering. When we got to the other woman's home I was overwhelmed. I truly had never seen a home so beautiful. It looked like it was a home right out of a magazine- the guest bathroom was larger than my kitchen. At the end of the night my friend and I left together, as she started the car she turned to me and said, "I always wanted a house like that." She continued to talk, but I can't tell you a thing she said.

Her words hit my heart, and then I felt God whisper a question to me: what happened to your gratefulness? I lost it the moment I wanted what someone else had, I lost my contentment. I am constantly bombarded with messages that what I have isn't enough, I don't look good enough, I don't do enough, I need more...

We are all bombarded with these messages.

When we listen to these messages we lose our thankfulness and become discontent.

I don't want to get caught up in the race for something bigger or better.

Oh God please give me the wisdom to make the right decision. Help me to be content with myself, my family, and all of the things you have given me. Please help me to make wise choices so that I can be generous with my time, money and talent.

"But godliness with contentment is great gain." I Timothy 6:6

Just for Fun - Win a Dilly Pack

2010-04-08T08:51:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends just for fun you can win a Dilly pack. A few weeks ago I answered some questions on a Face Book page and won a Dilly pack. It's nice but designed for a preschool/ early elementary age child. So would you like to win it? Go to the National Autism Resources Face Book page and click on the Discussions tab. Then write one sentence about you. A couple of friends and I will check back in a week and choose the sentence we like best. Then we'll share the sentence with everyone and send out the Dilly pack.

Do any of my blog buddies want to help me judge the contest?

Chewy Tubes for Children

2010-04-03T10:14:00.000-07:00

I thought I would write a little more about Chewy Tubes and chew toys for aggressive chewers. In a prior post I talked a little about why kids chew on their clothes. Nancy brought up another good point, and that is there could be a biological reason behind a child chewing, including pica. This wasn't the case w/ our son, but it is another thing to investigate as a parent.

I want to reiterate that I'm surprised that parents give their children animal toys to chew on. These toys don't have the same rigorous testing that products designed for people have to go through. Also, there are so many options to choose from in terms of chewing items no one should have to resort to an animal chew toy.

So to help you choose a chewy for your aggressive chewers here is a brief intro to Chewy Tubes and more...

The Chewy Tube, designed by speech pathologists, different colors represent different diameters of the chewy tube. Yellow is the thinnest and blue is the thickets tube. P's & Q's are their cheap chewy. They are latex free, non-toxic, and my son loved them.

The Grabber XT is one tough chewy. They are a lifesaver for aggressive chewers. The rounded handle makes it easy to hold. They also have textured Grabbers and regular grabbers, and they are a little bit cheaper than a chewy tube.

There is a new kid on the block called Chew Stixx. So far I haven't heard anything positive or negative about them, but they look very interesting. Because my son isn't chewing like he use to, thanks to Sensory Integration therapy, I can't give you any personal feedback. If you use them, let me know what you think!

The ChewEasy Chewy Tube. This is cool, its a chewy tube attached to a coil cord with a clip. So its easy to clip on and keep track of. A nice idea for kids who tend to loose things.

Exercise Tubing or Refrigerator Tubing, this is what therapists suggested kids chew on all the time. Now w/ the phthalates concern and latex concerns it's not considered a good option. Also, they were not designed for chewing and may or may not meet FDA guidelines.

Chewy Pencil Toppers: These fit over the end of a pencil so a child can chew while sitting in class. They are sturdy, but not reusable in that once the top goes on a pencil it stays there so you can't transfer them to another pencil. However, because they are clear they are a little less noticeable.

Now there are also chew toys, most of these you can get at K-Mart, Toys R Us, or Target:

The Hand and Foot teether: you can find these in almost any store. They are easy to hold and durable.

Knobby Teether Ball: Easy to hold with lots of knobs to chew on. It also works great as a fidget. So you get more bang for the buck.

Razbaby Razberry Teether: This is a teether not a pacifier they are sturdy and have interesting textures and they are silicon based.

The Massaging Action Teether: Great for chewing and it provides vibration for lots of oral stimulation.

Play & Grow Flutterbug: I saw this at Kohl's and it's awesome, lots of textures and it vibrates as well. It looks great for younger kids.

Anyhow I could go on and on and on! My point is there are lots of safe options out there now. I didn't even go into chewable jewelry ... I hope this helps you make a good choice for your child. If you need to buy some chewy items I hope you will visit our Autism Shop!

It's World Autism Day

2010-04-02T09:58:00.000-07:00

Today is World Autism Day, that's great isn't it? I guess today I'm a little sad. I'm sad because I've watched the landscape of the autism community change so dramatically. I've watched Autism Speaks become the leading voice in the media, yet I am concerned about the organization.

For example, in 2008 out of $65,826,629 dollars raised, only $27,593,390 went to "grants." Another $17,756,876 went to salaries, did you know the Chief Science Officer Geri Dawson was paid $644,264 alone? You can read it for yourself here their tax forms are public knowledge. The president Mark Roithmayer was paid $365,575 (he also received another $34,838 in compensation from the organization). You can compare that to the president of the Autism Society of America Lee Grossman who was paid $183,750.

Meanwhile, we have parents walking across the world trying to raise money to help their kids. Is this the best place to funnel all of that money? When over half of the expenses go to salaries, administration costs, I have serious doubts. Did all those moms walking know over half the money they raised, $38,779,862 would go to fund Autism Speaks? I could write about what Autism Speaks is funding, but don't get me started. They are a well financed, media savvy group, but are they the best group? Should they be "speaking" for all of us? I'll tell you one thing, they don't speak for me.

April is Autism Awareness Month

2010-04-01T08:06:00.000-07:00

April is Autism Awareness month and Tomorrow is World Autism Day. I am encouraging everyone to wear blue to try and start conversations about Autism. I hope you will join me and wear blue tomorrow! I try my best to be encouraging and I love my son, but the truth is it is a long and often difficult journey.

When my son was first diagnosed with autism no one had heard of the condition and now its a common term. What once only affected 1 in 10,000 children now is affecting conservatively 1 in 110. Many professionals and teachers are not trained in how to support and work with these kids. The professionals that do have training can't meet the demand. We need more resources for parents, teachers and researchers.

I started National Autism Resources because I had a dream of helping others. Now I am overwhelmed by the number of people contacting us from all over the world. Let's work together to help our kids!

Kids Chewing on Clothes

2010-03-30T08:24:00.001-07:00

I can't tell you how many times my son has chewed holes in his clothes. He went through a phase where the kid could not stop chewing! Chewing holes in clothes is definitely not good, but I really became concerned when I walked into our living room and found him chewing on an aluminum frame. What could I do?

First as usual, I started investigating. With any investigation I always start with the source, my son. (I am a firm believer that there is always a reason our children do something.... but that's another post.) I couldn't see much of a pattern as to when or where my son was chewing. It seemed he chewed more in the living room, but that was it.

Next phase is to investigate what the professionals say. I learned a couple of reasons why kids chew.

It can assist with attention and focus. Lots of kids are chewing on their clothes at school, because they were chewing as a way to help them pay attention.
They have a dental issue, either molars are coming in or they have a cavity.
Chewing is calming.
There may be connection between not moving and chewing. The theory is our bodies need to move, expend energy, kids who are inside a lot or have trouble with movement tend to need to chew. Thus chewing releases pent up energy.
They have a need to stimulate their jaw muscles. This is especially true of kids who eat a more soft or pureed diet.

First thing I did was take G to the dentist. Molars were coming in and guess what he did have a cavity. We got his teeth fixed, but he kept on chewing. Next I talked to his teacher, she did noticed he was chewing a lot when sitting at his desk. That's when I got it, he's chewing in the living room, where the TV and his jet videos are. He may be chewing to help his attention.

Since I believed his body was using chewing as a means of helping him pay attention, I tried to find some appropriate ways for him to chew. His favorite thing ended up being a blue chewy tube. Now that I have been at this for awhile I've seen several items that have helped parents:

Chewelry: This is a chewable coil necklace or bracelet (pictured above). Lots of kids love these because they spring when you chew on them. There is also a Mega Chewelry Necklace for kids with a stronger bite.

ChewEase Pencil Toppers (Clear Chewable Pencil Toppers): These are clear tubes that slide over a pencil that a child can chew on in class. Because they are clear they are not noticeable.

Teething Bling: The nice thing about Teething Bling is that it looks appropriate for older children to wear. I know we chose the "Camo" versions to sell at National Autism Resources because you can chew on them and the camouflage design doesn't show teeth marks like some other chewable pendants. The one bummer is its not springy. These things are made of silicon so they give a little when you bite down, but not as much as the Chewelry or a Chewy Tube.

Grabbers or Chewy Tubes: These are safe FDA approved chewers that are durable and time tested.

Chew Toys: Did you know some people actually let their kids chew on animal chew toys? I worry about this because these toys don't have as rigorous testing standards. However, there are lots of chewy toys designed for babies that are good. One of our favorites is a Grab Ball. The only downside to this is they don't look appropriate for older children.

The Best Ojai Contractor Ever

2010-03-28T13:53:00.001-07:00

OK, hands down the best contractor in Ojai, CA is Larry Hooper. One of his recent construction projects is being featured in House Beautiful this month. I walked through this house at the beginning of the project the last time I was in Ojai. This Ojai house is a historical landmark, so I was excited to see it, but when I got there it just looked like a run down shack. I honestly didn't see how anyone could restore this house to the point that it would be livable! I wish I had some before pictures to post because your jaw would drop if you saw the way it use to look.

So at this point I bet you are wondering why I am gushing over some contractor from Ojai... Well this particular construction aficionado happens to be my brother! From the time Larry was a kid I have watched him fix anything he put his hands on. He even won a craftsmanship award from the Bank of America when he graduated from Nordhoff High School. If you know someone looking for a reliable contractor in Ojai, Larry is the man!

Saying Sorry

2010-03-24T15:53:00.000-07:00

I don't know why its so hard to say "I'm sorry." It shouldn't be hard to say, after all none of us would be arrogant enough to say, I'm perfect. Therefore, if we know we aren't perfect it stands to reason that we know we will make mistakes. If we know we will make mistakes, then we should just know we are going to have to say sorry.

Sorry for the ramble!

The other night I was cranky with the Hubbo. So cranky he said "forget this" and went and hung out in our room, away from the TV, a big thing for him. Can I tell you I just sat in a chair fighting what I knew I should do, apologize.

I tried to rationalize it... He was bugging me, i.e. asking for my help when he should have just tried to figure it out on his own. Its not a big deal, i.e. it doesn't matter if I'm rude to him. He should know better, i.e. he should be able to read my mind. You get the picture.

Times like these its hard to be a follower of Jesus. If I wasn't a follower I would just shrug it off and think he'll get over it. But Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as you would yourself." Jesus wants me to treat the Hubbo the way I want someone to treat me, ie: care about him and his feelings. This means leaving my favorite TV show, humbling myself and admitting I'm wrong, asking for forgiveness, and THEN doing my best not to do it again.

So I went in the room and said I was sorry. Not because I felt like doing it. I said I was sorry because I knew it was the right thing to do. Sometimes I have to do the right thing even when I don't feel like it. Sometimes I feel better afterwards, sometimes I don't. I wish I could say askig for forgivness wasn't a problem for me, but the truth is I'm still struggling with it.

Starting RDI

2010-03-19T08:14:00.000-07:00

I received my first book on RDI (Relationship Development Intervention) in the mail yesterday. I can't wait to read it! As usual before starting something new I watch people for awhile. I’ve been watching my friend Marsha and following the Glasser’s posts. Both families have seen major growth in their relationships with their children, enough growth that I want to try it out.

So what is RDI? In a nutshell RDI is based on the belief that the development of dynamic intelligence is the key to improving the quality of life for individuals with autism. The program's core philosophy is that individuals with autism can participate in authentic emotional relationships if they are exposed to them in a gradual, systematic way. The goal of treatment is to systematically build up the motivation and tools for successfully interacting in social relationships. It has been my experience that there are no quick fixes that real change and growth for anyone, including those on the spectrum, happens over time.

It’s best to work with a therapist, but as usual the Arnwine bank account can’t support it. Anyone read Holly Peet’s article re this? Anyhow, back to RDI, I will learn as much as I can and maybe by this fall I will be educated and funded enough to hire a consultant. BTW anyone need a speaker contact me. Sorry for the shameless promotion!

Disney Video: The Time I Realized My Brother Was Different

2010-03-18T09:08:00.000-07:00

Thank you Disney for letting a sister share what it's like living with her autistic brother. Different isn't bad, it's just different.

Look Me in the Eye

2010-03-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

I read over the weekend “Look Me in The Eye” by John Elder Robison. It's about a man with Asperger’s Syndrome. At times it was hard to read his father was an abusive alcoholic and his mother was mentally unstable. He was sent to various therapists who often labeled him as anti-social, a psychopath, and even Schizophrenic.
He moves out of home at 16 and then goes on to design Ace Freehly’s fire-spouting guitars, creating some of the first electronic toys for Milton Bradley, falling in love, having a son, getting divorced, getting re-married, and starting his own career. He now owns his own automotive business, capitalizing on his interest in transportation machines.

This book was very painful to read because of the things that John Elder had to experience. He always felt like a fraud, he never could enjoy his accomplishments because he felt deep inside that someone would find out about the real him. He finally finds out he has AS when a therapist gave him a copy of “Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals”. When he read the book, he said the book perfectly described him.

Getting the diagnosis of Aspergers helped John to understand and accept himself. Also sharing with his community that he has AS allowed those around him, to understand him and embrace him.

Its nice to see someone with AS who is successful, both in business and relationships. However, sometimes the book is a hard to follow, it sort of rambles, I really didn’t like his chapter on mate selection, and at times its profane. It gives very good insight into the mind of a person trying to decipher social situations and deal with a world that just doesn’t seem to accept him. With that said I’d recommend the book with caution.

5 Transition Tips for Managing a Child with Autism's Day

2010-03-15T09:35:00.000-07:00

It’s no secret that people on the autism spectrum don’t like change. So how can we help people with autism manage changes in their schedules and transitions? There are a few techniques that when used consistently can help reduce anxiety and give a sense of predictability to transitions.

Here are five transition tips to help your special child.

1. Create a Visual Picture Schedule

A schedule can be a written list of activities the child will participate in during the day, a sequence of pictures or both. Schedules help a child to prepare for the transition by allowing them to see the upcoming activity and understand the sequence of activities that will occur. Research has shown that consistently using schedules decreases transition time and melt downs.

2. Show Activities as Finished

Allowing the child with autism to assist in designating an activity as finished can help them prepare for the transition. If using a picture schedule have a finished pocket for the child to place the picture of the activity they completed in. Laminate schedules with a box next to each picture that the student can check off as complete. Write out the schedule and allow the child to cross each item off as it is completed.

3. Use a Visual Timer

Time is an abstract concept that can be difficult for people with autism to understand. Using a timer gives children a visual of how much time is left before a transition. It can also help to keep some kids on task for projects they don’t like, because they can see it has an end. Some timers, like the Time Timer give an additional visual of the countdown of time.

4. Allow adequate time for the transition.

No one likes to be rushed. Especially with new routines at school allow adequate time for the child with autism to process the transition and move on to the next activity.

5. Provide a transition object.

Sometimes carrying a familiar object through each transition can add a sense of predictability and comfort to the transition. The child either can keep the object with them throughout the day, or go get the object after they have finished a project to move with them to the next activity.

If you have some other transition tips please share!

Dreams Come True for Cartoonist with Autism

2010-03-13T08:14:00.000-08:00

This is an incredible story about a family working together to make their son with autism's dream come true. You can check out Dustin's comic book here.

Aspergers

2010-03-10T09:04:00.001-08:00

Raising a kid with High functioning Autism or Aspergers, can be challenging. Watching Max with his cockroach at the table on Parenthood last night gave me a flashback.

Two years ago my son had a new hero, Wario. For those of you who aren't familiar with the character, let me just say his claim to fame is passing gas. Big huge toxic clouds of it... Once my son discovered him he used the word "fart" in any and every way imaginable. He brought it into every conversation and was thrilled when he could pass gas near his friends or family.

This all came to a head one day when we were driving in my friend's van and none of the kids wanted to sit by him... The whole van smelled horrible, and G was laughing uncontrollably. Because this behavior was isolating G, I had to come up with a strategy to encourage him to change.

I always start with my favorite tool, positive reinforcement. But how does one positively reinforce attempts to change this behavior? I decided that if G can make it through the day without referring to passing gas or burping AND if he can manage to do these things *privately* he would earn a dollar.

People were appalled when I shared this, they said I was bribing my son. Well things get tricky as my son gets older. I can't use "TV" time because like Max in Parenthood, my son already gets TV time. There is one thing that truly motivates him since becoming a teenager and its money.

Eventually G stopped the whole farting thing, a huge relief to all involved to be sure. I think by the time it was over I had given him close to $20. The thing that still bothers me, well to be honest it makes me feel bad, is when I feel judged. I probably could have handled this differently, but I didn't. This was the only solution my sleep deprived brain could come up with and it worked. So please don't judge me, just come along side me and my family in this journey. I don't want any pity just a tiny bit of understanding.

Remember

2010-03-09T08:32:00.000-08:00

I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but I'm a zebra. The women at my church meet and try to encourage each other in life and in our faith. Each month we work on something, this month we are remembering things God has taught us.

In one year my step son died, my parents divorced and my son was diagnosed with autism. I always thought I was a strong person, but that year brought me to my knees. A few verses became very special to me. They are:

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Hebrews 13:5,6 God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Things in life hit me hard, I often feel like I've been thrown under a bus... I've heard people say faith is a crutch, for me its more like a stretcher, I don't think I could get out of bed without my relationship with God.

How to Host a Play Date for Your Child With Autism

2010-03-04T21:31:00.000-08:00

Social interaction is not something that comes naturally for children on the autism spectrum. Often times these kids are isolated, preferring to play by themselves, and they are rarely invited to play with others. Recently an adult autistic friend of mine shared that she was *never* invited to a birthday party or play date growing up. How can one learn to socially interact, without a chance to practice?

One way parents can help their child with autism is to host a play date. Hosting a play date can seem daunting but I have found many people are willing to bring their children over to play when asked. When G was younger I explained to neighbors and classmates that they could help G's life, by just playing with him. Their child's play could have a direct impact on his future quality of life and independence.

Here are a Few Helpful Tips for Hosting a Play Date for Your Child with Autism:

Before the play date come up with a schedule with your child. Decide which games will be played and in what order. We wrote our schedule out with pictures, when we finished something my son loved to cross it off the list. Schedule a snack break and decide which snack will be offered. Also include clean up time at the end of the play date this will help your child to transition at the end of the date.

If there are toys that are difficult for your child to share put them away before the play date begins. For us this meant putting away all of the die cast jet airplanes.

Don't make the play date too long. One hour is fine, its best to have success and leave both children wanting more time together.

Keep it small one friend is best. Remember if you invite more than one child the social interactions will become more complex. It will be harder for your child to engage socially.

Choose activities your child enjoys and is competent in. Now is not the time to learn a new game. If your child feels successful there will be less frustration and a better time.

Prepare for the end of the play date in advanced. No one likes to end a good time! Practice with your child ahead of time how the play date will end. Have a reward or incentive waiting for them after their friend leaves.

To help your child prepare for the end of the play date give a 10 to 20 minute warning that the play date will end.

Observe your child's behavior during the play date so you can determine what needs to be worked on. Provide assistance as necessary, but try to be a background observer. Remember no one likes to be embarrassed. As much as possible work on behaviors after your child’s friend has left.

Establish a relationship with the child’s parents. Learning social skills is a process. Your child may make several social mistakes. Thank the parent for allowing their child to tutor yours and assure them that you are working with your child to help them grow socially.

After the guests leave, send the parent a quick email thanking them for coming.

My last tip is this, kids love yummy snacks. I made homemade cookie dough and froze enough for a dozen cookies. An hour before a play date I would bake a dozen cookies the parent's and the kids enjoyed it.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-tzu

Smells: Need I Say More?

2010-03-02T08:15:00.000-08:00

Its no secret that I have some sensory challenges. Shoes don't get me started on shoes... Anyhow, last Sunday a woman in church was wearing a ton of perfume. Along with giving me a headache, my eyes started to sting. It was so strong I could smell it all the way down the hall until I was out of the church.

Yesterday, I had a nice chat with one of my Face Book friends Brad. (I've never met Brad, but that's beside the point...) Brad mentioned that he wants to become a Garbage truck driver! (Of all things a Garbage Truck Driver?! Brad if your reading this don't do it!!!)

Our talk reminded me of the time the kids and I were driving behind a garbage truck. It was a warm summer day and the traffic started to slow, its California traffic which means it goes really slow. The smell started to build up in the car and we all started to get sick. After an eternity, possibly at least one minute, I had to pull over as fast as I could because I thought I was going to throw up.

We all jumped out of the car, left the doors open, and proceeded to run away from the smell. Thinking back this might not have been a good idea, with a son on the spectrum, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and there was no way he was gonna run near the street. At a safe distance, I grabbed the kids and turned to watch the other cars continue behind the truck with no adverse reaction. At that point I thought, "wow, we must be a tad more hypersensitive then the other drivers." (Duh!) Anyhow, after a couple of minutes I did a smell test and decided it was safe to enter the car and begin driving again. We used an alternate route of course!

LOL my husband is the only normal one of us all...

Autism, Schizophrenia and Environmental Toxicity

2010-02-28T15:38:00.000-08:00

I’m always interested in articles about autism and schizophrenia; my older sister became schizophrenic when she was 21. In a span of months I lost my sister and my best friend.

A number of autistic and schizophrenic patients have been found to have mutations of neurexin 1a, a protein which helps to form and maintain nerve signals in the brain. Scientists have recently discovered that mice with the same protein mutation display behaviors consistent with schizophrenia and autism.

In a recent Science Daily article, Dr Steve Clapcote from the University of Leeds's states, “these illnesses are complex; they involve not only our genetics, but also environment and experience. It's possible the genetics might create a predisposition, making some people more likely to develop autism or schizophrenia.”

Dr. Clapcote will be experimenting on mice to see how they respond to antipsychotic drugs. Now this sounds all fine and dandy, but our family experience with these drugs is that they have terrible side effects. If we are fairly sure there is an environmental trigger, why aren’t we looking at toxins in our environment?

In a recent article in Pediatrics Dr. Philip J. Landrigan, professor of pediatrics at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine states, “That there is indirect evidence for an environmental contribution to autism that comes from studies demonstrating the sensitivity of the developing brain to external exposures such as lead, ethyl alcohol and methyl mercury. But the most powerful proof-of-concept evidence derives from studies specifically linking autism to exposures in early pregnancy - thalidomide, misoprostol, and valproic acid; maternal rubella infection; and the organophosphate insecticide, chlorpyrifos.”

At the conclusion of the article Dr Landrigan states that fewer than 20% of high-volume chemicals have been tested for neurodevelopmental toxicity.

Incidences of childhood cancer, diabetes, autism and ADD/ADHD continue to rise. Let’s put our children’s interest first and test these chemicals before we expose the public to them.

The UPS Store

2010-02-26T14:44:00.000-08:00

I had to go to the UPS store today. I love the UPS store because I love enjoy the UPS ladies. Being somewhat of a hermit, these ladies offer me a nice hello w/ a smile, brief conversation and I go off on my merry way. Easy social interactions, just the way I like it!

I walked in, checked my mail and went to the front desk to pick up a package. As Bernie, my favoriet UPS lady, handed me my package out of the corner of my eye I saw an elderly lady next to me fall over. Bernie asked if she was all right, and her husband replied, “it’s ok she just fainted.”

The elderly lady’s face was ashen and she wasn’t responding well to her husband’s questions. Her husband said she was OK so I could leave with a good conscience right? After all I was, and am, and continue to be crazy busy. A few people walked out and I was about to, but I remembered Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself. If I were an elderly person who had just fainted I wouldn’t want everyone to walk on by…

So I told the man, “I’m CPR certified, would you like me to stay with you?” He replied, “yes.” So I sat beside the lady on the floor. I could see that her husband cared for her deeply. He was holding her head, a loving gesture, but not good for blood flow… So I said, “we should probably lay her head flat, it will help her if she’s fainted.” He gently laid her head down and we started talking. After about five minutes or so her color came back and she started feeling better. We both helped her up and leaning on her husband she walked outside and got in the truck.

As I was leaving the UPS ladies thanked me, it turns out no one else knew CPR. I felt shaky walking out of there, the truth is I’m trained in CPR but I hope I never have to use it.

Autism & Sign Language

2010-02-25T09:57:00.000-08:00

Should we teach kids with autism who have limited or no verbal communication sign language? It’s a good question. When we first started our journey many were afraid teaching a child with autism sign language would hurt their ability to become verbal. However, research as well as reports from parents and teachers has shown that in many cases sign language has actually helped children with autism become more verbal.

Sign language is inexpensive, portable, and a quick form of communication. (I especially like the inexpensive part, since most parents I talk to are constantly struggling with therapy costs…)

More benefits of sing language include:

Reducing negative behaviors such as tantrums, aggression or self injury which are often a result of being unable to communicate a want or need.

It gives people with autism a form of communication helping them to interact socially.

It can also cue a child during social situations or to give a caution or warning sign for potentially dangerous situations.

Some parents report enjoying a closer bond with their children by opening up a door for communication.

You can visit National Autism Resources for more information on sign language and autism.

It's Friday

2010-02-24T09:51:00.000-08:00

It's Friday and I can't believe next week we start March! As many of you may know my Mom was in a terrible car accident last July. (The same weekend my family moved to Benicia, CA.) She had a tire blow out on the free way and rolled her car seven times. She was in the hospital until mid November.

From November until two weeks ago she lived with me. and we went to therapy 3-5 times a week. It was exhausting, but now she can walk, dress herself, take a shower by herself. I am so grateful to God for bringing her through this!

Last week I took her down to Southern California to stay with my brother. So all of the sudden I have more free time.

I'm thankful for the break but I miss her.

I'm in a new city and all of the sudden I feel like a fish out of water.

Raising a Teen on the Spectrum

2010-02-17T14:21:00.000-08:00

People often ask, “How is it raising a teenager with autism?” Let me say that I am in the middle of this and I’m learning as I go. So here are a few things that I have learned so far.

Always respond positively to any question.

Last month my son came home and asked, “what do they mean when they ask me, ‘does size matter?’” No matter how much a question makes me want to cringe, I always tell my son, “I’m glad you asked me this.” I told him exactly what the question meant. Afterwards, I asked do you need help dealing w/ this? We then decided this is a stupid question that doesn’t deserve a response, so if they ask him again he will just ignore them.

Make sure you get all the facts before jumping to any conclusions.

One day G came home flustered and told me he needed help with a bully. As soon as I heard that I was livid. I took a deep breath, calmed myself and started to ask him all about his situation. Listen carefully, ask for specific examples: what did she say, what did she do, show me what she did. As he explained how the "bully girl" was treating him I realized this was not a bully situation, but a crush. Now there have been other times, when he has been bullied and we have needed to come up with a plan to deal with it.

Work with your child to come up with solutions to problems that he feels comfortable with.

There are lots of ways to deal with a problem. The way I feel comfortable dealing with a problem is not always the way G feels comfortable. At one point a bully in one of his classes started harassing G w/ sexual statements. G didn’t know how to respond and became embarrassed and flustered, this caused the bullying to escalate. I wanted G to tell the bully, “I don’t appreciate the way you are talking to me. Shut up or I’m going to talk to the teacher.” G felt he couldn’t do that, it was too hard trying to talk when he felt that upset. So he decided to e-mail the classroom teacher, which was easier then talking to the teacher. The teacher moved their seats, and helped G to resolve the situation.

I could write a book on this topic, but these seem to be the best lessons I’ve learned so far.

Studies Reveal Why Kids Get Bullied and Rejected

2010-02-05T08:14:00.000-08:00

Kids who have trouble reading social cues are likely to be bullied. No surprise here! Anyhow an article by Live Science offers five steps for helping a child "read" a social interaction go awry and discover what he can do next time.

The five steps are:

Ask the child what happened without judgement.
Ask the child to identify their mistake. (Often children only know that someone got upset, but don't understand their own role in the outcome.) I don't agree with this after all there is no excuse for bullying, instead I might ask what could you have done differntly?
Help the child identify the cue they missed or mistake they made.
Create an imaginary but similar scenario where the child can make the right choice.
Lastly, give the child "social homework" by asking him to practice this new skill.

To read the full article click here.

To buy the book this article is based on click here.

Children with autism show considerable gains with early intervention: American Medical News

2010-01-23T18:28:00.000-08:00

Once again we see that early intervention that includes a lot of parental involvement can make a considerable difference in the life of a young child with autism.

According to a Nov. 30 by Pediatrics Children with autism spectrum disorder can see significant improvement in IQ, language and adaptive behavior when they receive comprehensive developmental behavioral intervention before age 2½.

The Early Start Denver Model involves parents and therapists working with children on improving communication, social skills and other skills. The therapy takes place in a child's home rather than in an office setting.

The Denver model, designed to be used with children as young as 12 months, integrates applied behavior analysis with developmental and relationship-based approaches. The study, funded by the National Institute of Mental Health, assigned 48 children ages 18 months to 30 months who had autism and no other health problems to one of two groups.

To read more:
amednews: Children with autism show considerable gains with early intervention :: Dec. 22, 2009 ... American Medical News

When my son was first diagnosed with autism a professional told me, "you just have to understand your son will never be normal he will never be able to function like other kids." I'm glad we didn't listen to her. My belief that we as parents and educators can make a difference is why I started National Autism Resources.

Geoffrey Won a Halloween Contest

2009-10-30T10:34:00.001-07:00

Geoffrey dressed up as the "windy guy" for the church Halloween party on Tuesday. He won first place it was so great!

He won two free movie tickets and already a few friends are asking him who he is going to take. Including one girl who seems VERY interested. (I'm not sure I'm ready for that!)

Happy Halloween everyone!

What is the Wilbarger Protocol or Brushing Therapy?

2009-10-13T08:13:00.000-07:00

The Wilbarger Protocol is a therapy program designed to reduce sensory or tactile defensiveness. Children who exhibit symptoms of tactile defensiveness are extremely sensitive to touch. This can cause a fear or resistance to being touched, difficulty transitioning between activities, and/or lethargy. The therapy was developed by Patricia Wilbarger, MEd, OTR, FAOTA.

There is not much documented research on the Wilbarger Protocol. However, many parents of children with autism have reported seeing decreases in sensory defensiveness and anxiety as a result of using this technique. Some of the benefits of the Wilbarger Protocol may include improved ability to transition between daily activities, improved attention span, a decreased fear or discomfort of being touched, enhanced coordination, and self-regulation.

The complete routine usually only takes 2-3 minutes.The first step in the therapy involves using a sensory brush or wilbarger brush which is run over the child's skin, using very firm pressure; it is like a deep pressure massage. Brushing starts at the arms and works down to the feet. The face, chest, and stomach area are never brushed because these are sensitive areas that can cause adverse reactions.

The brushing with the therapressure brush is initially recommended every 2 hours while the child is awake. Therapists usually re-assess the level of brushing after two weeks. At that time they may modify the program. The brushing continues as long as the individual benefits from it.

After the brushing therapy, therapists may also prescribe gentle joint compressions to the shoulders, elbows, wrists, fingers, hips, knees/ankles, and sternum for a count of ten. Self-administration of joint compression may also be obtained by engaging in jumping-jacks, push-ups, or jumping on a trampoline.

Finally, the therapist may also suggest the Oral Tactile Technique, or OTT. This technique requires a finger to swipe along the inside of the person’s mouth. This is helpful for kids with oral defensiveness. (These children may have trouble with foods because of their texture or hate having their teeth brushed.)

If you think that your child would benefit from the Wilbargar Protocol, it is important to seek guidance from an Occupational Therapist. The OT must be trained in sensory integration and know how to use the Wilbargar Protocol. Performing the therapy in a manner other than taught by a trained professional may not be effective and can be very uncomfortable for the individual.

National Autism Resources Accepts Purchase Orders

2009-10-01T09:16:00.000-07:00

Did you know that we accept purchase orders?

We accept Purchase Orders from:

Government Agencies
Hospitals
Schools
Universities

Using the prices and product names published on National Autism Resources, please fax all PO's to 877-259-9419 or email (customerservice@nationalautismresources.com). We will confirm receipt and ship out immediately.

Exhausted

2009-08-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

Well it has been an exhausting few weeks, but God has been good. We moved and my son went back into school. The transitions was great. The first day was hard, but then my son was able to meet up with a boy from our church who introduced him to several other kids. Now G has a whole group of kids to eat lunch with. Nick, the boy, told his mom, "Geoffrey is quiet but he's nice we like him." Hooray! He has no assistant because he wants to do this himself. My heart is so overwhelmed with thankfulness. I am amazed at how far he has come in the last eleven years!

Meanwhile, I continue to go back and forth to the hospital to visit with my Mom. She is now at a convalescent hospital and is learning to walk again. We still don't know if she will be able to walk unassisted, but we are so thankful her mind was not damaged.

I've been falling into bed each night because my days are so full. However, I have a peace from God that I am so thankful for. I read the following this morning: Psalm 27:13-14 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Sounds good doesn't it? Lets be strong together, take heart and wait for the Lord.

Doing better than expected

2009-08-05T11:16:00.001-07:00

Well after almost a month my Mom has moved out of ICU. Its been up and down but she is on the road to recovery. She will need surgery on her neck, but no paralyses, thank God! Thank you all for the prayers and well wishes.

My whole family has been stretched, but at the same time God has been good. I've been praying that she would do better than the doctors expected her to. Friday, before I left the hospital I was talking with her Dr. and she said, "I'm really pleased with your mother's progress, she's doing better than we expected." I walked away whispering another prayer of thanks.

The Kindness of Strangers

2009-07-07T07:46:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, July 3rd, my mom was in a terrible car accident. She was traveling down highway 99 in California near Bakersfield when something happened (we don't know what) that caused her to lose control and roll her car 5 or 6 times. They had to cut her out of her car before they could get her to the hospital. All of her ribs are broken, her lungs are badly bruised and punctured, her heart is also bruised and beating irregularly.

I found out at around 10:00pm, jumped in the car and at 2:30am I made it to the hospital. When I walked in I must have been a mess because a security guard came right up to me and said, "how can I help you?" I could only whisper, "ICU" and he left his post and escorted me there. I was so thankful for that.

The next morning after about two hours of sleep I got lost on the way to the hospital. At a stoplight I waved down an Asian man in the car next to me and told him I was lost and needed to find the hospital. He said, "its OK just follow me" and then he drove his car to the hospital and let me follow him.

Back at the ICU the nurse informed me that I had to formally admit my mother to the hospital and gave me directions. By the time I got to the elevator I had forgot them. I turned to an African American nurse and tried to ask for admitting, but the tears just came and I could hardly speak. She took me in her arms and gave me the biggest hug. It felt so good because at that time all I had wanted was to hug my Mom, but I can only touch a small part of her forehead and her feet because she is so injured. After the hug, the nurse scooped her arm under mine and just about carried me to admitting. When I apologised for the tears, she told me everyone cries at the hospital and they never apologise for it.

Later on I went back to my hotel room and when it was time to go back to the hospital I got lost again! This time I flagged down a large Hispanic man on a bicycle. When he came up to my car I was a little taken aback. His head was shaved, he was extremely muscular, tattooed and he looked tough! I told him I needed directions to the hospital. He was so kind. He said, "wait a second let me think of the easiest way to get there." Then he gave me directions. These directions are so good that I have been using them ever since.

These are just a few stories, so many more people have all extended so much kindness and have been praying for my Mom. Its a miracle she is still alive. I'm thankful God continues to keep her heart beating. I'm also so thankful for the kindness of strangers.

Mean People Stink!!!

2009-06-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

G has been watching me drop off mail and priority orders for National Autism Resources for quite awhile. I thought since we do this regularly this would be a good place for him to work on doing things independently. So first we started by G helping me carry the orders to the desk. Then I let him carry all of the orders to the desk while I reminded him to say hello to the postal workers.

For the last few weeks I have walked into the Post Office and watched G drop off the orders until last week I waited just outside the door.

Today I waited outside in the car while G went into the Post Office by himself... Hooray! This should have been great...

When G came out He was agitated and didn't want to talk. So he waited in the car while I went in to find out what was wrong.

Inside Gene, one of the postal workers, yelled, "Hi Bonnie, why don't you come up here."

Then he explained that when G came in to drop off the orders, some rude and impatient lady yelled at him to quit cutting in line. G didn't know what to do and froze. When Gene saw what was happening he told G it was fine and that he could come to the front and drop off the mail.

Can I just say that if looks could kill, I would have killed that lady with my eyes. I had laser eyes bugging out of my head. GRRRRRRRRRRRR...

So I went back to the car, told G sometimes people are rude and that he did nothing wrong. Tomorrow when he feels better I'm going to talk to him about what he can say if something like this should happen again. We are going back to the Post Office and we are going to get this down!!!

Mild Autism

2009-06-18T11:32:00.000-07:00

Recently I talked to someone who asked me, "how do you help a child with mild autism?" The term mild autism does not appear in the DSM. From what I can gather this is a term people are using (along with high functioning autism) to describe people on the spectrum who meet the criteria for autism but have higher functioning skills.

No matter what the child's diagnosis is, the first step to helping them is to carefully look at the evaluations used to diagnose the child. Evaluations contain a wealth of information specific to the individual child. Evaluations can help you choose appropriate interventions. For example, most likely you will be working with a Speech & Language Pathologist. If their evaluation states that the child has primarily pragmatic or social language impairments look at social skills groups or products that address this specific area of language delay.

On the flip side if in the evaluations you notice a reoccurring comment like "the child is overstimulated by busy environments" you may want to look into sensory integration therapy. If you notice this reoccurring comment and it doesn't seem to be addressed ask the people who evaluated your child, "how can we address this?"

However, the best advice I can give is this: don't get caught up in the label. At the end of the day its important to remember that each child is a unique person who has unlimited potential, needs love, lots of encouragement and acceptance.

ARC Solano Meeting

2009-06-16T22:42:00.001-07:00

I was invited by my real estate agent Eilleen to the ARC Solano annual meeting tonight. They had several pieces of the consumer's art on display for sale.

This picture was my favorite, it was only $50. Unfortunately, my photo doesn't do it justice. Inside of each of the color spots are penciled pictures of people smiling and other things that make the artist feel happy. I felt happy just looking at it.

While at the meeting I met Loida. Her son Anthony is 25 and on the spectrum. She is standing by one of his paintings. The colors are so vibrant in real life! I wish my camera took better pictures!

This is the art director Tim Park. He is getting this art work out into the community for sale. The cool thing is the proceeds go to the consumers who painted them. You can follow his tweets here.

DMV Meltdown

2009-06-15T21:52:00.000-07:00

I went to the Department of Motor Vehicles today without an appointment. It was a bad, bad, bad idea. The place was noisy, crowded and had an estimated wait time of at least one hour. I should have walked out, made an appointment and paid the late fee. But, I didn't...

I was fine the first thirty minutes. I sat in a somewhat dirty chair and was careful not to touch it with my hands... I positioned myself by a screen and watched for my number it was on B089 and my number was B216. While waiting more and more people took seats around me. It wasn't too bad until an elderly lady and her husband sat down right next to me.

It smelled like she was wearing expired perfume. The thought that came to mind was decomposing roses and alcohol. I started to feel sick, I looked around the room. It was crowded, I was surrounded by people. If I stood up I would lose my chair and move into undefined space... and then someone could definitely invade my personal space. I was frozen in stink and couldn't decided to move or not. So I went into my defensive position, I covered my nose with my shirt. OK I totally admit I'm a weirdo, but its better than a freak out.

I started to distract myself by finding something nice to look at. Unfortunately, there is nothing visually pleasing inside the DMV. All the cubicles, counters, and chairs are either grey or blue - its depressing. The floor has orange flakes in it (my favorite color) it also has black flakes in it (a nice contrast to orange...), but it was surrounded by fake cement? Yuck who would pick this flooring and why? Did they purposely try to make it ugly... As I contemplated this the elderly couple moved on, but now I had a headache starting...

Forty five minutes into my wait even more people are crammed into the room and it is so noisy. I have to keep looking at the floor because I can't stand to look around even at the number screen. So I can't plug my ears because then I wont hear my number...

And then IT happened.

A lady with exposed feet came and stood right in front of me. It was ghastly her feet were over flowing out of her flip flops and dirty.

I couldn't handle it I closed my eyes and covered my face with my paperwork just in case my eyes unconsciously should open and I would see the feet again. I felt like humming to help with the noise, but I had to hear my number and I didn't want anyone calling the loony bin... I could hear them call number B209. I started to tell myself I would be up there soon. But seriously, it was all I could do to keep from running out of the door.

When they called my number I felt shaky and my head was pounding. I jogged to the appropriate cubical and found I couldn't register my car because it needed to be smogged.

Oh sweet Jesus please let my husband finish this for me, thank God he puts up with me...

Visual Fun

2009-06-02T09:55:00.000-07:00

My friends Katheryn & Gary visited last night. We had lots of fun eating, talking about favorite movies and playing with a new Blue Fiber Optic Lamp that we are selling at National Autism Resources. Here it is with the lights on. Its cool to touch and the picture doesn't do it justice...

We turned off the lights and then started touching the lamp it looked awesome and was really hard to stop playing with. Here are a few pictures:

Violated!

2009-05-26T12:06:00.000-07:00

OK last week I finally did it I got my first Mammogram. Let me just say instead of mammogram they should call it mam-o-grab! The technician grabbed my mammies and did things with them I didn't think were possible!!!

Just kidding - ladies take a deep breath - it wasn't that bad. My Kaiser Tech Sheila was awesome, very friendly which made the whole process much more bearable. It turns out she has a nephew with autism and it was somewhat nice chatting with her given our unusual setting...

I had put off my mammogram, as usual I was too busy taking care of other things instead of taking care of myself. The good new is everything is all clear. That got me thinking though, what if it wasn't? I would have kicked myself for not doing it sooner. These really are important my grandmother died at 43 from breast cancer. So if you are a woman over 40 as the old Nike saying goes... Just do it!

G Won Another Art Contest

2009-05-05T09:19:00.001-07:00

G came in fourth place in the Mt Diablo Peace and Justice Center's Peace Through Art and Writing Challenge. We went to an award dinner on Saturday May 2nd and saw all of the art projects. The picture above is the one that won.

We didn't know ahead of time that they would ask each artist to come up and explain their art project. I didn't prepare G, but he watched others explain their picture. By the time it was his turn he was so excited that he went right up front and talked about his picture. He did a great job, I was sooooo proud!

Hard work, lots of love and encouragement make a difference. Let's keep supporting our kids!

Meet Monica

2009-04-27T16:54:00.000-07:00

I recently met Monica Fliehmann at a local special needs conference. My ears immediately perked up when she mentioned that she is a reading specialist using the Linda Mood-Bell Visualizing and Verbalizing curriculum.

We have used this with Geoffrey after hearing great results from friends. I would like to start again, but the Arnwine budget has to stay balanced, I bet you can relate!

Anyhow, Monica mentioned that her students have been averaging over 5 years of progress after 12 months in the program. After talking awhile I realized Monica not only has a fascinating professional story, but an inspiring personal story as well.

I asked her to share it, this is it in her own words:

My husband, Ben, is unlike anyone else I've ever known. Most people have trouble “thinking outside the box.” He hardly ever thinks “inside the box.” He has an amazing ability to hold to his own perspective, regardless of the thoughts and opinions of those around him. He’s creative, innovative and eccentric.

Leaving the security of our jobs for the unknown of self-employment was Ben’s idea. During the first few years of our marriage, we both worked for our local school district. We loved working with the kids, but felt it wasn’t quite the right fit for either of us. I thought, “Nothing’s perfect. We should make the best of the situation we’re in,” but Ben said, “The right thing is out there.”

Ben did a great deal of searching until he found Shannon Jenkins, a Lindamood-Bell® reading tutor who specialized in serving kids on the autism spectrum. She was moving out of state to pursue her own dreams and was looking for successors to carry on her work. We met with her in July of 2007 and everything fell into place. That fall, Phoenix Education Specialists became our new business and an amazing new chapter of our lives began.

Ben has always had a unique ability to connect with students with special needs, especially kids on the autism spectrum. Over the last year and a half, we’ve both been amazed by the progress our students have made, especially in the area of reading comprehension . On average, our students made over 5 years of progress after 12 months of working with Ben. I believe this is largely due to his ability to bring out the best in them.

Last fall, Ben and I began talking seriously about something we’d both been wondering about for quite some time - why is it so easy for him to connect with the kids we serve and yet so difficult for him to connect with others. Social interaction is a strain for him. He communicates in ways that others often find difficult to understand and vice versa. And yet, all of this seems to melt away with our students.

Ben and I started looking at the characteristics of individuals on the higher functioning end of the autism spectrum with new glasses. We both saw Ben. We sought the help of a clinical social worker we know and she confirmed what we suspected. Ben has Asperger’s.

Ben’s diagnosis has confirmed my sense that we’re doing what we’re called to do. He recently told the parents of one of our students, “I want to give Alex* the help I wish I’d gotten.” I’m grateful that he’s able to do this for our students, and I’m honored to have a role in making this possible.

*not his real name

Lindamood-Bell® is a registered trademark.

I love Monica's story and am so grateful that she was willing to share it with everyone. I also want to introduce National Autism Resources new t-shirts:

Neurotypical is Overrated

The Neurotypical is Overrated t-shirt was inspired by my son. When he hit Junior High and realized how different he was from his peers it was very hard for him. We spent a lot of time talking about his strengths and weaknesses and the strengths and weaknesses of others. Over time he came to accept that he like everyone else has things he is good at and things that are challenging. During this time he became inspired by Einstein and we came up with the saying, "Neurotypical is Overrated." I hope you enjoy our design.

On the Spectrum - Outside the Box

This design was created by a close friend of our family. After learning about autism he was inspired to design a shirt that reflected the original thinking of many people on the spectrum.

Both t-shirts are available now at National Autism Resources and if you order by May 15th you will receive a free gift with your order!

You've Gotta See Susan Boyle Sing

2009-04-17T20:54:00.000-07:00

This is absolutley incredible and inspiring. Susan Boyle is a 47 year old quirky woman with an incredible voice. Click here to watch her sing on Brittan's Got Talent.

Speaking of talent, I have none when it comes to singing. So for those of you like me, may I suggest our Bubble Mic. It blows bubbles anytime you make a sound. So its a party no matter what you sound like! OK just kidding, we carry them to encourage kids to start vocalizing. Kids make a vocalization and they are instantly rewarded with bubbles.

Looking for a House

2009-04-16T16:57:00.000-07:00

Well the Arnwine family is looking for a new house. Yesterday we visited Benicia, CA. Its a smaller town that is known for its art glass. They have great schools and the Realtor we are working with is very involved with Solano County ARC. Here is what we looked at so far...

This house was very old and needed a lot of fixing up. Fixing up wouldn't be too bad, but the neighbors have some dogs that were barking the whole time we were there. That definately would not be workable for us.

This house is sort of interesting. Its older, and kind of OK. I'm not sure why, but I'm not excited about it. The rest of the family seems interested so far.

This house looked good, but no garage! No garage would mean no place for me to do my product testing - OK no place to play with the new sensory toys w/o looking like a wierdo...

This condo was a possibility, until we drove by. Its near the water, and a water treatment plant. The area smelled funky. We decided not to even get out of the car...

We will be looking again Sunday like anything with us slow and steady wins the race.

Faith in what is Unseen

2009-04-07T08:36:00.000-07:00

Bonnie & Bev at the Japanese Tea

I had an interesting talk this week with a wonderful professional woman. As we talked it became clear that she was a christian. She made the comment that as a professional its hard to know if one should or shouldn't associate themselves as "christian" since being a christian has a negative stereotype associated with it. I've met a lot of people like myself, who are not what a stereotypical "christian" is suppose to be. They are regular people who have fallen in love with Jesus. OK reading that I know it sounds weird, let me put it this way, the more I learn about Jesus the more I want to learn about Him AND there are a lot of people out there who feel the same way I do.

The thing is I don't know how to be different. Sometimes my life is a train wreak and the only way I can get through it is through the strength and help my faith provides. One of my closest friends died this week. I've cried like crazy because I'm missing her sooooo much, but I'm comforted because I know I will see her again. This comfort allows me to be thankful in the midst of my pain. I'm thankful because the last time she got out of the house was with me and we went to an amazing Japanese Tea together. I'm thankful that a couple days before she died I made a cake she loved and she was able to eat some of it. I'm thankful we visited together on her last day inside her earthly body. I can't get through these things without Jesus. I wish this didn't offend people, but I can't live any other way.

World Autism Day

2009-04-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

Today, April 2 has been designated by the UN as World Autism Awareness Day (WAAD). This UN resolution is one of only three official disease-specific United Nations Days. The other two are diabetes and AIDS. The goal of WAAD is to raise awareness about autism throughout society and to encourage early diagnosis and early intervention.

This is a good, but why just encourage early intervention? Don't get me wrong early intervention is important. However, as I have stated before time and time again, there is no cure all for autism. While many people respond incredibly well to early intervention, many don't. As a society we need to support individuals living on the spectrum. They don't need pity - who wants to be pitied for who they are??? However, depending on the individual, they may need services, accommodations and a little understanding to be successful.

In the end we are all better off if everyone has the support to pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Happy World Autism Day

To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

2009-03-27T08:40:00.000-07:00

Right now there are two groups advocating for autistics, one is committed to doing all they can to find a cure the other is fighting for neurodiversity. Those fighting for neurodiversity don't see autism as tragic, but as another way of being and think that those focused on a cure are rabid "curebies" who don't appreciate autistic people. Those focused on finding a cure feel the other group is crazy and counter productive.

So what do we do? Embrace people with autism as they are, or do all we can to find a cure and provide as much intervention as possible? I don't have the answers but I can say I've been walking down this road for over 10 years now. As I grow in my understanding of myself, my child and my autistic friends my perspective has changed a little.

First off let me say I have done everything I could to help my son. We've tried many approaches some worked and some were a waste of time, money and energy. My son is doing incredibly well, he no longer exhibits self injurious behavior, he is verbal, high functioning, and probably would be considered to have Aspergers at this point. I continue to work with him on social skills, I continue to work with him on self help skills. Possibly one day he may be able to live on his own we don't know yet. As my son and my friends kids have gotten older I have seen some kids respond amazingly well to interventions and some didn't. My son is going to be fully mainstreamed into high school next year. My dear friend's son just went into a group home for the safety of herself and her son. Another friend's son is a little quirky but wouldn't be considered on the spectrum.

The therapies that my friends and I fought for and lost our homes, marriages and sanity for are now considered routine, safe and effective. There is now irrefutable evidence that shows kids on the spectrum can learn if given the right tools and mode of instruction. (G did not turn into a robot after participating in ABA...) Are all kids getting all of the services they need at this point, no. Does more need to be done, absolutely. Do we need to research why the incidences of autism are increasing, I personally believe yes we do.

However, there is another side to this. I want to remind everyone, despite the claims being made by a variety of people, at this point there is no cure for autism. My son is not neurotypical and most likely never will be. My focus has begun to change. I'm not looking for a cure, I'm looking for understanding. I love my son, I love his personality. He is a visual thinker who has a fascination with flight, air flow, and wing design.. he is 13. (BTW Math is his favorite subject.) I have a feeling he's going to make an incredible contribution to society some day. I love the person he is becoming. He's going to need extra help in life, but my desire, my passionate desire is that people will embrace him as he is.

I also want him to feel proud of himself, of who he is. He doesn't need pity, he needs understanding, and some accommodations. At this point do I want him cured? No way, as my friend Temple Grandin once stated, "why would we want to cure all of the autistics? We would lose all of our scientists, engineers and computer nerds."

My bottom line is this. Yes let's keep looking for a cause, and fighting for appropriate interventions. At the same time as our kids get older let's celebrate who they are becoming, be proud of them as they are, celebrate their neurodiversity, and continue to support them in any way possible. I also say lets support the autistic adults who are now speaking for themselves. They are people, who deserve to be listened to. Their perspective is important and if we let our defenses down we may be able to learn from them.

Mini Conference in Concord

2009-03-21T21:43:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of speaking in my hometown of Concord CA. The group I spoke to were all parents and it was such fun. The only problem (as usual) is we didn't have enough time to talk together and swap ideas. I spoke about Fun Sensory Activities based on my book.

Afterwards I had a table set up and sold some of our products. I had no helper because the Hubbo hurt his back. So it was a little hectic, but over all everything went fine. Our two big sellers today were....

The CLAW

The Moody Face, which in my HMO is an awesome stress ball w/ Koosh style hair.

I demoed one of my all time favorite sensory products Insta-Snow aka Suddenly Snow

Afterwards I came home and found out G had a 102.7F fever. Poor guy he was so miserable. I wanted to go to church tonight, but we stayed home and took care of G instead. I hope I can catch a service tomorrow, its been awhile since I've been able to go.

Don't Stress Out

2009-03-16T20:55:00.000-07:00

For the heck of it I took a stress test and scored a 14. The results said:

Scores of 13-17 Danger Zone. Watch out!

Well I can't always escape stress, so the way I deal with it is to have a little fun. So here's my day in pictures.

I get up and take a shower...

Have some coffee...

Make some breakfast...

Go to work...

Come home make dinner...

And if I have time walk the dog.

I love that all it takes is a walk around the block to make Penny the Super Dog happy!

Shock and Awe!!!

2009-02-28T17:00:00.000-08:00

I came back from the Kern County Autism Conference and planned to blog about it today...

However...

When I came back my husband was bald!

(Did I mention I have some issues with change...)

More to come on the conference tomorrow.

Strongest Chewy Necklace Ever

2009-02-18T12:19:00.001-08:00

I just found the strongest chewable necklace ever. They have extra thick medical grade plastic and fit snugly around a child's neck. They should be great for younger kids with an extra tough bite and they look cool. The only problem is they won't work for older kids and adults. Oh well, I'll keep looking...

For this item and more chewy products please visit National Autism Resources autism shop!

IEP Goals for Adolescents on the Spectrum

2009-02-10T08:14:00.000-08:00

I just read a new paper from the Journal of Special Education, Individual Education Plans, Goals and Services for Adolescents with Autism (Kurth, Mastergeorge 2009).

In a nutshell what the researchers found was:

Students on the spectrum who had general ed for math and language arts instruction had fewer overall IEP goals, but goals focused more on applied skill development.

Students in non inclusion had goals addressing primarily rote and procedural skills.

For both groups IEP goals rarely moved above fourth-grade standards.

For both groups most IEP goals addressed core symptoms of autism (e.g. communication skills) as opposed to academic skill development.

The researchers then considered the emerging research on positive student outcomes when instruction and IEP goals are tied to state standards. They draw some interesting conclusions:

In this study, we found that, regardless of age, students in non inclusion settings were more likely to have goals addressing procedural skills rather than applied skills, suggesting they were likewise not receiving instruction in the applied use of these skills. In terms of quality-of-life outcomes, the ability to solve problems and apply knowledge has broad implications. Applied instruction and learning advances competence and independence in that students learn to identify, solve, and self monitor the problems and potential solution in their own lives...

By providing instruction in IEP goals along with instruction in core curriculum, students with autism are provided instruction that targets individualized, functional needs, while accessing and participating in a challenging curriculum. Thus, aligning IEP goals to content standards is not inconsistent with providing a unique, special education to students with autism, nor is it an expectation that students with autism should perform at grade level. Rather alignment ensures that instruction is based on a challenging core curriculum that will enable the student to make academic progress at his or her individual level.

I Am Against Thomas Perrelli for Associate Attorney General

2009-02-06T09:52:00.000-08:00

Well I don't dive into politics too much, but this situation really gets to me.

Thomas Perrelli is being nominated for the number-three post at the Department of Justice. He argued on behalf of Michael Schiavo’ s right to withhold food and water from his disabled wife Terri Schiavo, which resulted in her death. You remember this, Mr. Schiavo was with another woman even though he was still married to Terri. Terri's parents wanted to take care of her, but Michael wouldn't allow it. Thus she died of starvation and dehydration. This case broke my heart as I watched it unfold. I can't imagine how Terri's parents must have felt.

Subsequently, Perrelli was lauded by pro-euthanasia activists for his efforts.

Perrelli's hearing is set for Feb 10. If you feel the way I do please call your senator and tell them not to accept this nomination!!!

RDI Relationship Development Intervention

2009-02-06T07:59:00.000-08:00

I just came accross an excellent article and video on RDI...

SALT LAKE CITY (ABC 4 News) – One out of every 133 Utah children is Autistic. Utah ranks third in the nation for the number of families living with Autism. There are several forms of therapy available; the most common is Applied Behavioral Analysis, or ABA. Barbara Kalmanson, a Clinical Psychologist says "The goal of ABA is to get the child to comply with adults' wishes or adults' demands.”

Kalmanson is proponent of a different approach called DIR, which stands for developmental individual difference relationship based treatment. “In the DIR approach we are interested in the internal capacity of the child. This treatment is focused very much on work with the child and helping the parents to understand the child’s individual developmental profile”.

She says each child with autism has different needs, and any treatment program should be geared toward that individuality. “Some children with autism need and alternative form of communication like sign, or a device. Other children can speak very well; some of them can talk to you till the cows come home, but what they say is not meaningful in a back and forth interaction”. Once the child’s strengths and needs are determined parents are taught how to interact with their children in floor-time exercises. It’s essentially purposeful, meaningful playtime.

Read more and watch the video.

New Shoes

2009-02-01T08:59:00.001-08:00

These are my new shoes. They are very comfortable and they have a sparkly look to them. Finally I can wear some shoes that are sort of fancy without going crazy. The picture doesn't do them justice. Hooray for comfy shoes besides New Balance

A Few of my Favorite Things...

2009-01-26T18:14:00.000-08:00

Finding beautiful leaves in my neighborhood...

Drinking coffee watching the sun rise in my back yard...
My super wienner dog Penny

Watching My Kids have fun...

Admiring beautiful art...

Admiring God's art...

Its OK to be OK

2009-01-24T20:42:00.000-08:00

We had a rough experience this week. My son's friend beat G at Super Smash Bros. Since then my son has lost all interest in video games. Now that sounds like a good thing doesn't it? At first I thought so. However, as the week progressed I realized this was a deep blow to my son's self esteem.

My daughter mentioned to me that G was in deep denial. He won't admit he lost the game and is avoiding all comment and interaction w/ the game. She proceeded to ask me why can't he get over it...

So as I investigated I found out that this is the "thing" G believes he is "good at" with his peers. To be defeated means he doesn't have "anything" he's good at anymore. Now this isn't true, after all he's an amazing artist. However, its how he feels. The hard thing for G is that there are so many things he is struggling with compared to his peers. G like all kids desires to belong, but socially is having such a hard time. His auditory processing makes it difficult to follow the ever changing topics of his peers. When they do get on a topic he enjoys it turns into a one way conversation...

I wanted to take out the OK book and read it again, but its not appropriate. Now that G is getting older, he's getting sick of my coaching.

Ughhhh....

I feel like we're in a new phase again and I'm not sure what to do. So in the meantime I'm going to pray for wisdom.

Saving Schools Money

2009-01-15T09:44:00.000-08:00

As stated before our school district is in the midst of a financial crunch. All programs including special ed are looking at cuts. I'm so grateful for the IDEA and the opportunity to be an effective advocate for the kids I love. However, at some point all of our individual needs can become wasteful. What I mean is this if you have 10 kids at a school who need consultations w/ a behaviorist for x hours per week. Then at said school you have 3, 4 or in some cases 10 behaviorists working at that location. When this happens money is wasted because:

Each behaviorist will spend time getting to know the school, student and support staff.

Each behaviorist will train the staff on how they do things, using their particular methods, they could be very similar, but most likely they aren't.

Most likely the following year one or two new behaviorists will move on which means steps one and two will be repeated again.

This translates into money down the drain.

How can we stop this while still insuring the best services possible for our kids? I'm not sure, but I'm open to any suggestions or things that have worked for others.

Brokenness

2009-01-13T19:01:00.000-08:00

Brokenness–verb
1. pp. of break. –adjective
2. reduced to fragments; fragmented.
3. ruptured; torn; fractured.
4. not functioning properly; out of working order.

Today I received a letter from my dear friend and former colleague. He has been asked to resign from his position as youth pastor because he is dealing with depression. Its been almost a year and he's still not healed. He wrote in the letter that his effectiveness in ministry has diminished over the past few months. This I found curious, I joined youth ministry a few months ago and it has been a rewarding heart challenging experience for my whole family.

My heart broke as I read his humble letter. I've listened to him share his heart, highs and lows honestly. Being open, honest and vulnerable with a community takes such courage. It opens the door to acknowledge that it is by Gods strength, not ours that real change is accomplished.

So now I'm left with the question, is there a place for brokenness in the church?

If not, then I certainly don't belong. The truth is the longer I live the more apparent my brokenness becomes. There are times when I feel paralyzed by anxiety, indecision, and fear. In those times all I can do is cry out to God and ask him for help to get through the day, sometimes just to make it to the next hour.

So I'll take my brokenness to Jesus, he always meets me in it, even if no else will.

Prozac, Heartburn, IEPs, OH My!

2009-01-13T07:53:00.000-08:00

I'm in my bathrobe, I haven't showered for three days! (Don't worry I'll take one today I promise.) I'm fighting terrible heartburn AND I think the Prozac makes it worse. But that's nothing really, compared to the news I got from a couple of friends this week:

News #1
My good friend is losing his job. Sad monetarily speaking, but his wife is one of my few friends. (I often fight hermit tendencies, as a matter of fact my family calls me, "the family hermit.") So now I have two friends my anonymous neighbor friend and my Indian friend. Hey two friends are better than nothing, but wait this is my whiny time so I shall continue....

News #2
A fellow Mom sent me this, "The School Board has a very vague item on the cut list, which simply says "any special education items not directly on students' IEPs... cost to be determined." Essentially, they would like to gut special education without directly violating the law. Very broad, very vague, We have a new, younger board that is less experienced, and especially less experienced with special education. At the same time, we have a population of parents who were very active in years past as advocates whose children are aging out (OMG that includes me) -- we need to get new younger families involved, and soon!"

I don't want to fight anymore, especially since I feel like I do all the fighting and everyone else gets the benefits... When is someone gonna fight for me for a change?! Boo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. I know, I know how selfish. Yes that is a selfish thought, but its how I feel. I pray God helps me through this one...

So that's my blah news. Friends leaving, budget cuts, Prozac problems, I'm a mess. Well hey, I'm always a mess so whats new. Time to go get some coffee...

Latest Wedding Accessories

2009-01-09T08:15:00.000-08:00

This is fun! My friend Katherine sent me these pictures:

Let's see...
Something old,
Something new,
Something borrowed

And...

Some Chewlery!

Way to go Bethany! Congratulations to you and Matt!

Happy New Year

2009-01-06T20:03:00.000-08:00

Happy 2009!

I can't believe another year has past. G will turn 14 and GA will soon be 12. Time really seems to be flying now. I've often heard people say they are afraid of the teenage years with their children. (I have often echoed that sentiment...) However, today I watched my kids and just enjoyed them. They are smart, cautious, and kind. Both kids have strengths and weaknesses, but who doesn't? Overall I love the people they are becoming.

My resolution this year is to find more time to enjoy them.

If I only accomplish this, I will be satisfied.

4 Tips for Christmas

2008-12-05T21:05:00.000-08:00

1. Use a calendar to prepare the child for Christmas. Things to include: holiday time from school & when school starts, days visitors will arrive, the day decorations and the Christmas tree will be put up and most importantly when and where you will open presents. Highlighting these times on the calendar will help your child prepare for the time spent away from school, and changes in routine, and home.

2. As much as possible keep a child's routine consistent. For example, if the child uses any visual communication tools, continue to use them as much as possible.

3. Include the child in preparing for Christmas. Look at Christmas decorations or trees together. Allow the child to assist in decorating or watch as decorations are put up. Allowing the child to participate in decorating may prevent negative reactions to changes in the environment.

4. Decorating can be highly stimulating and stressful. To make it easier for the child you may want to put up a few decorations each day to ease into the Christmas season.

Two Tribes Collide

2008-11-29T18:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. We had a great time at the Arnwine house. GA made a wonderful pumpkin pie to go with our Turkey. After dinner we went out to check on our homeless friends. We found out that a couple of churches got together and made them all a wonderful dinner and gave them new jackets. They were all in a very good mood and we were so glad they were taken care of.

While out we decided to go visit our Indian friends. They own a liquor store and Thanksgiving day is always a busy one for them. When we got to the store we started to talk and enjoy each others company. After about 10 minutes one of our homeless friends walked in, saw me and gave me a hug saying, "happy Thanksgiving beautiful lady."

Just then I turned and saw my Indian friends. I can't really explain how they looked. It was a mixture of shock, surprise, dare I say disgust. At that moment I felt my cheeks get red and then my Indian friends asked, "do you know him?!" I shook my head yes feeling my face get hotter as I watched my friend buy a beer. He was unaware of what was going on and waved happily as he left...

After he walked out my friends quizzed me:

Do I give him money?
Do I let them get close to me?
Don't they bother me?
Don't I know they will spend any money I give them on beer?

I tried to answer them, but it was a one sided conversation. My friends didn't like what they saw and they didn't want to hear my answers. I tried to explain that I think God loves all men. That all men are made in God's image and no one is incapable of a new beginning, a new life, redemption.

When it was all done I think the thing that bothered me the most was that I got embarrassed. I've gotten use to smelly hugs, toothless grins, and conversations that don't always make sense. However, this is the first time I was associated with the homeless tribe and the truth is I didn't like it. I don't want to be in their tribe. I want to visit, and do good things, but I don't want to be associated with them.

The bottom line is this, its easy for me to talk about Jesus. Its much harder to live like Jesus and have His motives. When I take the time to look deeply into my heart sometimes it just stinks.

National Autism Resources is at the Golden State Mall 11/15 & 11/16 in Bakersfield

2008-11-15T13:37:00.000-08:00

We're experimenting in branching out to the general public. We'll be at the Golden State Mall in Bakersfield CA today & tomorrow. If you are in the area come visit us!