We had a rough experience this week. My son's friend beat G at Super Smash Bros. Since then my son has lost all interest in video games. Now that sounds like a good thing doesn't it? At first I thought so. However, as the week progressed I realized this was a deep blow to my son's self esteem.
My daughter mentioned to me that G was in deep denial. He won't admit he lost the game and is avoiding all comment and interaction w/ the game. She proceeded to ask me why can't he get over it...
So as I investigated I found out that this is the "thing" G believes he is "good at" with his peers. To be defeated means he doesn't have "anything" he's good at anymore. Now this isn't true, after all he's an amazing artist. However, its how he feels. The hard thing for G is that there are so many things he is struggling with compared to his peers. G like all kids desires to belong, but socially is having such a hard time. His auditory processing makes it difficult to follow the ever changing topics of his peers. When they do get on a topic he enjoys it turns into a one way conversation...
I wanted to take out the OK book and read it again, but its not appropriate. Now that G is getting older, he's getting sick of my coaching.
I feel like we're in a new phase again and I'm not sure what to do. So in the meantime I'm going to pray for wisdom.
As stated before our school district is in the midst of a financial crunch. All programs including special ed are looking at cuts. I'm so grateful for the IDEA and the opportunity to be an effective advocate for the kids I love. However, at some point all of our individual needs can become wasteful. What I mean is this if you have 10 kids at a school who need consultations w/ a behaviorist for x hours per week. Then at said school you have 3, 4 or in some cases 10 behaviorists working at that location. When this happens money is wasted because:
Each behaviorist will spend time getting to know the school, student and support staff.
Each behaviorist will train the staff on how they do things, using their particular methods, they could be very similar, but most likely they aren't.
Most likely the following year one or two new behaviorists will move on which means steps one and two will be repeated again.
This translates into money down the drain.
How can we stop this while still insuring the best services possible for our kids? I'm not sure, but I'm open to any suggestions or things that have worked for others.
Brokenness–verb 1. pp. of break. –adjective 2. reduced to fragments; fragmented. 3. ruptured; torn; fractured. 4. not functioning properly; out of working order.
Today I received a letter from my dear friend and former colleague. He has been asked to resign from his position as youth pastor because he is dealing with depression. Its been almost a year and he's still not healed. He wrote in the letter that his effectiveness in ministry has diminished over the past few months. This I found curious, I joined youth ministry a few months ago and it has been a rewarding heart challenging experience for my whole family.
My heart broke as I read his humble letter. I've listened to him share his heart, highs and lows honestly. Being open, honest and vulnerable with a community takes such courage. It opens the door to acknowledge that it is by Gods strength, not ours that real change is accomplished.
So now I'm left with the question, is there a place for brokenness in the church?
If not, then I certainly don't belong. The truth is the longer I live the more apparent my brokenness becomes. There are times when I feel paralyzed by anxiety, indecision, and fear. In those times all I can do is cry out to God and ask him for help to get through the day, sometimes just to make it to the next hour.
So I'll take my brokenness to Jesus, he always meets me in it, even if no else will.
I'm in my bathrobe, I haven't showered for three days! (Don't worry I'll take one today I promise.) I'm fighting terrible heartburn AND I think the Prozac makes it worse. But that's nothing really, compared to the news I got from a couple of friends this week:
News #1 My good friend is losing his job. Sad monetarily speaking, but his wife is one of my few friends. (I often fight hermit tendencies, as a matter of fact my family calls me, "the family hermit.") So now I have two friends my anonymous neighbor friend and my Indian friend. Hey two friends are better than nothing, but wait this is my whiny time so I shall continue....
News #2 A fellow Mom sent me this, "The School Board has a very vague item on the cut list, which simply says "any special education items not directly on students' IEPs... cost to be determined." Essentially, they would like to gut special education without directly violating the law. Very broad, very vague, We have a new, younger board that is less experienced, and especially less experienced with special education. At the same time, we have a population of parents who were very active in years past as advocates whose children are aging out (OMG that includes me) -- we need to get new younger families involved, and soon!"
I don't want to fight anymore, especially since I feel like I do all the fighting and everyone else gets the benefits... When is someone gonna fight for me for a change?! Boo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. I know, I know how selfish. Yes that is a selfish thought, but its how I feel. I pray God helps me through this one...
So that's my blah news. Friends leaving, budget cuts, Prozac problems, I'm a mess. Well hey, I'm always a mess so whats new. Time to go get some coffee...
I can't believe another year has past. G will turn 14 and GA will soon be 12. Time really seems to be flying now. I've often heard people say they are afraid of the teenage years with their children. (I have often echoed that sentiment...) However, today I watched my kids and just enjoyed them. They are smart, cautious, and kind. Both kids have strengths and weaknesses, but who doesn't? Overall I love the people they are becoming.
My resolution this year is to find more time to enjoy them.
I'm Bonnie Arnwine, I'm the founder of National Autism Resources and I have two kids one is on the autism spectrum. I love to write and discuss all issues related to parenting, autism and faith. I have an overwhelming preoccupation with sensory toys.