Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Guilt Trips

guilt trip–noun, Informal. a feeling of guilt or responsibility, esp. one not justified by reality.

I hate guilt trips. I hate it when someone says something, that in a round about way makes me feel bad about myself. People who give guilt trips often give them without realizing it. They guilt others because they are insecure and they need to project their failures onto others so that they can feel better about themselves. I know this because it has recently come to my attention that I give grade A, all expenses paid, first class guilt trips. There I said it, it's hard to admit but true.

This recently came to my attention because my daughter called me on it. We were at Chuck E. Cheese and she was talking to me while I was playing a game. Well my score started going down and I said, "there goes my score." She replied with, "wow, that made me feel guilty, I didn't make your score go down."

and you know what... she was right...

That got me thinking.
Did what I said teach her anything? No...
Did what I said encourage her? No...
Did what I said model the way of Jesus or set a good example? No...

What I said was a load of crap and GA called me on it. I felt bad about my score and wanted to blame someone else so I blamed her. How trivial, but true. I hate it when I learn gross stuff about myself. I also hate it when my children are the recipients of my baggage. So late Sunday night I apologized to GA and told her I have yet another bad habit I'm working on. I'm often reminded of a quote I heard in college, "Christianity is simply this, one beggar telling another where he found bread." D.T. Niles Jesus is perfect and I am not. All I can say is thank God the bread is free.

5 comments:

Elissa said...

I have to admit, I'm guilty of guilt trips too. I have never thought about it before, and never realised that I do it but reading your post has started me thinking... I'd better work on that...
xx

The Glasers said...

Not to mention the bread is low carb, gluten-free casein-free, leaving your waistline in peace!

:0)

FXSmom said...

That would have caught me too.

Casdok said...

And me!

Marla Fauchier Baltes said...

I think by saying we are sorry to our kids we are giving them a great gift. It is never an easy thing to say and when we say it with meaning and we try to change our kids watch and they learn and they will be more likely to say they are sorry to others in their own life.