Look Me in the Eye

I read over the weekend “Look Me in The Eye” by John Elder Robison. It's about a man with Asperger’s Syndrome. At times it was hard to read his father was an abusive alcoholic and his mother was mentally unstable. He was sent to various therapists who often labeled him as anti-social, a psychopath, and even Schizophrenic.
He moves out of home at 16 and then goes on to design Ace Freehly’s fire-spouting guitars, creating some of the first electronic toys for Milton Bradley, falling in love, having a son, getting divorced, getting re-married, and starting his own career. He now owns his own automotive business, capitalizing on his interest in transportation machines.

This book was very painful to read because of the things that John Elder had to experience. He always felt like a fraud, he never could enjoy his accomplishments because he felt deep inside that someone would find out about the real him. He finally finds out he has AS when a therapist gave him a copy of “Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals”. When he read the book, he said the book perfectly described him.

Getting the diagnosis of Aspergers helped John to understand and accept himself. Also sharing with his community that he has AS allowed those around him, to understand him and embrace him.

Its nice to see someone with AS who is successful, both in business and relationships. However, sometimes the book is a hard to follow, it sort of rambles, I really didn’t like his chapter on mate selection, and at times its profane. It gives very good insight into the mind of a person trying to decipher social situations and deal with a world that just doesn’t seem to accept him. With that said I’d recommend the book with caution.

5 Transition Tips for Managing a Child with Autism's Day

It’s no secret that people on the autism spectrum don’t like change. So how can we help people with autism manage changes in their schedules and transitions? There are a few techniques that when used consistently can help reduce anxiety and give a sense of predictability to transitions.

Here are five transition tips to help your special child.

1. Create a Visual Picture Schedule

A schedule can be a written list of activities the child will participate in during the day, a sequence of pictures or both. Schedules help a child to prepare for the transition by allowing them to see the upcoming activity and understand the sequence of activities that will occur. Research has shown that consistently using schedules decreases transition time and melt downs.

2. Show Activities as Finished

Allowing the child with autism to assist in designating an activity as finished can help them prepare for the transition. If using a picture schedule have a finished pocket for the child to place the picture of the activity they completed in. Laminate schedules with a box next to each picture that the student can check off as complete. Write out the schedule and allow the child to cross each item off as it is completed.

3. Use a Visual Timer

Time is an abstract concept that can be difficult for people with autism to understand. Using a timer gives children a visual of how much time is left before a transition. It can also help to keep some kids on task for projects they don’t like, because they can see it has an end. Some timers, like the Time Timer give an additional visual of the countdown of time.

4. Allow adequate time for the transition.

No one likes to be rushed. Especially with new routines at school allow adequate time for the child with autism to process the transition and move on to the next activity.

5. Provide a transition object.

Sometimes carrying a familiar object through each transition can add a sense of predictability and comfort to the transition. The child either can keep the object with them throughout the day, or go get the object after they have finished a project to move with them to the next activity.

If you have some other transition tips please share!

Dreams Come True for Cartoonist with Autism

This is an incredible story about a family working together to make their son with autism's dream come true.  You can check out Dustin's comic book here.

Aspergers

Raising a kid with High functioning Autism or Aspergers, can be challenging. Watching Max with his cockroach at the table on Parenthood last night gave me a flashback.

Two years ago my son had a new hero, Wario. For those of you who aren't familiar with the character, let me just say his claim to fame is passing gas. Big huge toxic clouds of it... Once my son discovered him he used the word "fart" in any and every way imaginable. He brought it into every conversation and was thrilled when he could pass gas near his friends or family.

This all came to a head one day when we were driving in my friend's van and none of the kids wanted to sit by him... The whole van smelled horrible, and G was laughing uncontrollably. Because this behavior was isolating G, I had to come up with a strategy to encourage him to change.

I always start with my favorite tool, positive reinforcement. But how does one positively reinforce attempts to change this behavior? I decided that if G can make it through the day without referring to passing gas or burping AND if he can manage to do these things *privately* he would earn a dollar.

People were appalled when I shared this, they said I was bribing my son. Well things get tricky as my son gets older. I can't use "TV" time because like Max in Parenthood, my son already gets TV time. There is one thing that truly motivates him since becoming a teenager and its money.

Eventually G stopped the whole farting thing, a huge relief to all involved to be sure. I think by the time it was over I had given him close to $20. The thing that still bothers me, well to be honest it makes me feel bad, is when I feel judged. I probably could have handled this differently, but I didn't. This was the only solution my sleep deprived brain could come up with and it worked. So please don't judge me, just come along side me and my family in this journey. I don't want any pity just a tiny bit of understanding.

Remember

I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but I'm a zebra. The women at my church meet and try to encourage each other in life and in our faith. Each month we work on something, this month we are remembering things God has taught us.

In one year my step son died, my parents divorced and my son was diagnosed with autism. I always thought I was a strong person, but that year brought me to my knees. A few verses became very special to me. They are:

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Hebrews 13:5,6 God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Things in life hit me hard, I often feel like I've been thrown under a bus... I've heard people say faith is a crutch, for me its more like a stretcher, I don't think I could get out of bed without my relationship with God.

How to Host a Play Date for Your Child With Autism

Social interaction is not something that comes naturally for children on the autism spectrum. Often times these kids are isolated, preferring to play by themselves, and they are rarely invited to play with others. Recently an adult autistic friend of mine shared that she was *never* invited to a birthday party or play date growing up. How can one learn to socially interact, without a chance to practice?

One way parents can help their child with autism is to host a play date. Hosting a play date can seem daunting but I have found many people are willing to bring their children over to play when asked. When G was younger I explained to neighbors and classmates that they could help G's life, by just playing with him. Their child's play could have a direct impact on his future quality of life and independence.

Here are a Few Helpful Tips for Hosting a Play Date for Your Child with Autism:

• Before the play date come up with a schedule with your child. Decide which games will be played and in what order. We wrote our schedule out with pictures, when we finished something my son loved to cross it off the list. Schedule a snack break and decide which snack will be offered. Also include clean up time at the end of the play date this will help your child to transition at the end of the date.


• If there are toys that are difficult for your child to share put them away before the play date begins. For us this meant putting away all of the die cast jet airplanes.


• Don't make the play date too long. One hour is fine, its best to have success and leave both children wanting more time together.


• Keep it small one friend is best. Remember if you invite more than one child the social interactions will become more complex. It will be harder for your child to engage socially.


• Choose activities your child enjoys and is competent in. Now is not the time to learn a new game. If your child feels successful there will be less frustration and a better time.


• Prepare for the end of the play date in advanced. No one likes to end a good time! Practice with your child ahead of time how the play date will end. Have a reward or incentive waiting for them after their friend leaves.


• To help your child prepare for the end of the play date give a 10 to 20 minute warning that the play date will end.


• Observe your child's behavior during the play date so you can determine what needs to be worked on. Provide assistance as necessary, but try to be a background observer. Remember no one likes to be embarrassed. As much as possible work on behaviors after your child’s friend has left.


• Establish a relationship with the child’s parents. Learning social skills is a process. Your child may make several social mistakes. Thank the parent for allowing their child to tutor yours and assure them that you are working with your child to help them grow socially.


• After the guests leave, send the parent a quick email thanking them for coming.


• My last tip is this, kids love yummy snacks. I made homemade cookie dough and froze enough for a dozen cookies. An hour before a play date I would bake a dozen cookies the parent's and the kids enjoyed it.
  

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-tzu

Smells: Need I Say More?

Its no secret that I have some sensory challenges. Shoes don't get me started on shoes... Anyhow, last Sunday a woman in church was wearing a ton of perfume. Along with giving me a headache, my eyes started to sting. It was so strong I could smell it all the way down the hall until I was out of the church.

Yesterday, I had a nice chat with one of my Face Book friends Brad. (I've never met Brad, but that's beside the point...) Brad mentioned that he wants to become a Garbage truck driver! (Of all things a Garbage Truck Driver?! Brad if your reading this don't do it!!!)

Our talk reminded me of the time the kids and I were driving behind a garbage truck. It was a warm summer day and the traffic started to slow, its California traffic which means it goes really slow. The smell started to build up in the car and we all started to get sick. After an eternity, possibly at least one minute, I had to pull over as fast as I could because I thought I was going to throw up.

We all jumped out of the car, left the doors open, and proceeded to run away from the smell. Thinking back this might not have been a good idea, with a son on the spectrum, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and there was no way he was gonna run near the street. At a safe distance, I grabbed the kids and turned to watch the other cars continue behind the truck with no adverse reaction. At that point I thought, "wow, we must be a tad more hypersensitive then the other drivers." (Duh!) Anyhow, after a couple of minutes I did a smell test and decided it was safe to enter the car and begin driving again. We used an alternate route of course!

LOL my husband is the only normal one of us all...