Saturday, April 10, 2010

What is enough?

My husband and I have been looking for a house, hoping to become first time home owners. Its an interesting journey with lots of talk about what we "can" afford. The question we both keep coming back to is what do we need? What is enough?

I remember when both my children were very young my husband and I lived in Hayward CA. We had one car, so I often put my children in a stroller and walked to the grocery store. One day a man was shot and killed in broad daylight right where I often walked. I prayed and asked God to please move us. About six months later, we were able to move to Concord CA.

When I moved to Concord I was thrilled with our new home. It was a two bedroom duplex in a a cul de sac. It was neat, clean and best of all safe. After a few months I was invited to dessert at another woman's house. I decided to go with a new friend from church. The next evening when I met my friend at her house I was stunned. It was so beautiful with a nice large kitchen, living room, dining room, each child had their own room and they had a garden in the back. I always wanted a house like that.

We left together for the gathering. When we got to the other woman's home I was overwhelmed. I truly had never seen a home so beautiful. It looked like it was a home right out of a magazine- the guest bathroom was larger than my kitchen. At the end of the night my friend and I left together, as she started the car she turned to me and said, "I always wanted a house like that." She continued to talk, but I can't tell you a thing she said.

Her words hit my heart, and then I felt God whisper a question to me: what happened to your gratefulness? I lost it the moment I wanted what someone else had, I lost my contentment. I am constantly bombarded with messages that what I have isn't enough, I don't look good enough, I don't do enough, I need more...

We are all bombarded with these messages.

When we listen to these messages we lose our thankfulness and become discontent.

I don't want to get caught up in the race for something bigger or better.

Oh God please give me the wisdom to make the right decision. Help me to be content with myself, my family, and all of the things you have given me. Please help me to make wise choices so that I can be generous with my time, money and talent.

"But godliness with contentment is great gain." I Timothy 6:6

5 comments:

Sue from Oz said...

Bonnie, I love this post. When I lose contentment the first thing I look for is what "things" might help bring it back again. We have a beautiful house now compared to our past two abodes but it is so easy to focus on what is wrong with it (blocked drains!) and not be grateful for how wonderful it really is. For me, losing my contentment then often leads to guilt. Not a good cycle to get into.
Thank you for the reminder to be grateful for what we have. God bless you.

Sue from Oz said...

Bonnie, I love this post. When I lose contentment the first thing I look for is what "things" might help bring it back again. We have a beautiful house now compared to our past two abodes but it is so easy to focus on what is wrong with it (blocked drains!) and not be grateful for how wonderful it really is. For me, losing my contentment then often leads to guilt. Not a good cycle to get into.
Thank you for the reminder to be grateful for what we have. God bless you.

Queenbuv3 said...

When I get those feelings of ungratefulness I think of every image I have ever seen of people living in horrendous poverty, some in other parts of the world and some right here in this country. I think how they would feel walking into my home that has running water, electricity, food, floors, walls and ceilings without holes, etc. It cures those feelings of wanting something bigger and better very quickly. I also think back to some of the very run down and shabby apartments we have lived in over the years. When I was pregnat with my daughter we moved into an apartment that had NO heat on the second floor. The unscrupulous landlady failed to mention that to us even though she could clearly see we would have a newborn soon and already had a very young son. I may not live in a fancy house, we still rent, but everything works and what we have is better than anything else we have ever had. I have found that when you struggle and have times where you don't have enough or less than even average living conditions you are able to be happy with less. There are so many people that have the best of the best of everything but are miserable.

good luck with your house hunt : )

me said...

I just love your sharing. You are so real. I hope I was not the ungrateful friend. I suppose we all have our moments. If so, God has helped me so much to be content in any circumstance HE puts me in. I know I need to use each circumstance to bring glory to him. The best parties I remember were the ones we had in our backyards, with colored games the kids had made. I am so grateful we never needed the $200 day at some party place!!!
I was talking to my husband today when we were talking about those that grumble about so much and ask why me??? When the question I feel should be "Why not, me?
Dear God, help us use wherever we live to do our best to turn it into our castle and realize Our Prince Has Come! Sharon

Caitlin Wray said...

Loved this post - it is so important to openly share a perspective of gratitude and contentedness in a culture of such obscene excess. We have had to VERY consciously remind ourselves of what is 'enough' especially in terms of housing. Almost all our friends and neighbours have, over the past 6 years since we moved into our current home, sold and gone onto to even larger, newer homes. Never because they needed to... always because of that underlying belief that this is just what we are supposed to do in order to look successful. I just keep reminding myself that I love my front porch and the wide open view of a park across the street, my kids are happy, and I don't need more square footage or an attached garage to prove I'm a worthwhile person. North American culture needs a major re-education in the concept of 'success'.

Bonnie, I write the blog www.welcome-to-normal.com and found you via Liz Ditz. I'm running a Mother's Day Interview series on my blog during the month of May, and would really be honoured if you would consider participating. If you think you might be interested, please email me at jantzm@mts.net and I can share some more details with you :)