Why Me?

Do you ever struggle with why me? Why did this happen to me? Why does my child have to struggle so hard? Why is my family hurting?

I’ve been caught up in it. A big why me went like this; all my life I wanted a Mama’s boy, a boy full of affection who I could take walks with, tuck into bed and talk to, why can’t he go to sleep? Why can’t I give him a proper hug? Why can’t he just say, I love you?

Why does my son have autism?

Why, why, why…

It’s easy for me to fall into a pity party. I’ve been judged, anyone ever here, “if you just disciplined your son you wouldn’t have these problems.” I’ve felt attacked. Anyone else have a disagreement in an IEP, one against ten? I’ve been accused of resorting to quackery. Has anyone ever given your child a food you asked them not to?

Poor, poor, poor me…

You know what I’ve learned, to put it bluntly, this type of thinking sucks. It doesn’t help me, encourage me, or give me any kind of strength. As a matter of fact, this kind of thinking can cause me to fall deeper into depression, immobilize me, and can fill me with fear.

When I get caught up in these moments in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy language I work on retraining my thoughts. The bible calls this “taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”

This is what retraining my thoughts looks like.

Autism has humbled me. Before I had my son I had a successful career, but I was shallow and prideful. I would have been the one to tell you, “just give me your child for a weekend and I bet I can get him back on track. After all everyone knows, poorly behaved children are a result of poor parenting skills…"

Autism has changed my perspective on what’s important. Today I’m thankful for a healthy family, thankful my son can talk, thankful my marriage is intact, thankful I have enough food to eat, a roof over my head and a means of continuing to provide that for my family. Take a look at the world many people can’t say that.

Autism has drawn me closer to God. I don’t believe that God is punishing me. That’s simply not the truth of the Bible. I believe God is using “all things for good.” I’m a better, stronger, more tolerant, understanding, and forgiving person now. I can relate to so many more people. I don’t want to pretend to be perfect, or have it all together, perfect people aren’t approachable and they aren’t real. I’m flawed just like you, and I want to love you! Not because I’m mother Teresa, believe me I’m not! But because God has loved on me through this and given me more love to share, “my cup over flows.”

I do my best to answer my why me’s now simply with this statement:

Autism is a trial and it is a gift. I know God uses all things for His good because I can see it in my life.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:3-6

Fighting for Geometry

Sometimes on the inside I just want to scream. You can look at me I look calm, I talk intelligently, but on the inside my mind is going crazy. This happened at my son's latest IEP. His math teacher didn't want to put G in regular Geometry. G had a B- the last semester of Algebra and he didn't want to put G in regular Geometry? When I asked him why, he said that he didn't think G could "handle it."

As soon as I heard that a slew of curse words went running through my mind, I could feel my muscles tense up, and I had to take a deep breath because I wanted to take that teacher by his tie and string him up!

Its time like these I have inner wars with myself. I'm suppose to love my enemies according to the teachings of Jesus. Enemies against me and what I want to do I can handle that, but when I perceive someone as against my son...

I'll be honest I wasn't kind, I wasn't very civil, but I didn't lash out. Instead I asked if anyone else with a B average had to take remedial Geometry?

"No, but that's not the point. I don't think he can handle it."

With a slew of obscenities flying through my mind, I prayed God please help me because I want this guy to go down. Then I said, "I think my son deserves the same opportunities as any other student. I'm not asking for special accommodations, a tutor, or exceptions. I'm just asking you to treat him like anyone else. I'll never sign an IEP that I feel violates my son's rights."

At this point the administrator broke in and said something like of course G could go into regular Geometry and if we need to switch classes mid semester we can look at it. To be honest I can't remember exact words because I was in a blur, trying to hold myself together, trying not to give the math teacher the evil eye, trying to be like Jesus.

Then the meeting was over, I got what I felt G needed, and everyone seemed fine. I'm glad I didn't burn another bridge. I know this might sound crazy, but I don't feel angry towards the math teacher I just feel peaceful.

Cheap Food Makes Animals & People Sick

My dog is allergic to corn and wheat fillers in her dog food! Her skin was turning black, she was constantly itching, and she started to stink really bad. So I took her up to the local pet store and they recommended I change her diet and I bought some oatmeal shampoo for her.

Since I've put her on the special diet her black rash is almost gone, she's not itchy or fidgety as much and she doesn't smell so bad.

Bottom line: cheap food makes people and animals sick!!! I know we talk a lot about vaccinations, but maybe we need to seriously look at our mass market food supply. I just watched a documentary called King Corn what an eye opener!

Win Over $100 in Sensational Prizes

I've partnered with Our Journey Through Autism for a "30 for 30" event to celebrate the SPD's Foundation's 30th anniversary.

Three winners will receive over $100 in prizes including:

• My book: Starting Sensory Integration Therapy

• A Fidget Set
  
• Body Sox


• Danceland CD & Booklet


• 28 Instant Songames CD


• Wikki Stix Activity Set

To enter pick up a copy of Starting Sensory Integration Therapy: Fun Activities That Won't Destroy Your Home or Classroom. Buy one or borrow a copy from your local library. Next, select 1-3 activities to do with your child. As you are doing these activities, take notes, take pictures, or take video. If you want to get creative, make a montage, slide show or video. Then, submit everything to OJTA for publication throughout Sensory Awareness Month.

Submission Deadline is September 25th 2010 Act Quickly!

Life is Good in Arnwineland

Life is good in Arnwineland. We bought a house!

The Hubbo & I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary!

My little girl had her braces taken off! We celebrated by eating corn on the cob!



















I finally have a tomato plant, that I have managed not to kill! (An amazing feat for one with a black thumb...)

Sensory Info To Help with the Start of School

There are so many good articles out there now with sensory tips for starting school. Rather than reinvent the wheel I thought I would share some particularly good ones with you:

Sensory Diet Applications and Environmental Modifications
This extensive article by Victoria L. Nackley, OTR/L will give you tons of ideas for developing a sensory diet at home and school.

Hartley's Blog: Sensory Diet for School
Along the same lines as the link above, this nice little blog piece is by a Mom who shares her son's sensory diet. I thought it was great, especially the part about packing a lunch with different food textures - genius!

Surviving Sitting
This is an article I wrote for National Autism Resources with tips to help students sit & focus in class without using medication.

Back To School with Sensory Smarts
This is from Nancy Peske & Lindsey Biel's website Sensory Smarts. It has transition ideas, communication ideas and a few tips on accommodations. Also check out their tips for teachers.

Sensory Sensitivities & the School Bus
This article is short and sweet. If my son were still riding the bus I would print it out and hand it to his driver and his classroom teacher.

If you have a favorite article to add please share it!

You Are Not a Mistake

My son started his second year of high school today. I know this is going to sound like a cliché, but I remember sending him off to kindergarten like it was yesterday. He knows he has autism, he knows that some things that are easy for others are hard for him. He knows that in some subjects he has to work much harder to keep up. In junior high he went through a time where he didn't want to be different.

He felt like he was a mistake.

It's hard to watch somebody go through something like that. However, deep within my heart I know he is not a mistake. I know that he was made to be exactly the way he is. I know that God is going to do something great through him. Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” My son is no accident. He's a wonderfully made work of art. He was created by a God who wants to be close to him, to guide him, and to use him to do something wonderful.

I remind him of this often.

I believe this with all my heart about my kids.

I believe this about myself.

I believe this about you.