Pottbelly's the Best Sandwich Ever!

If you've flown lately then you know most airlines don't feed you anymore. Chips, peanuts, or maybe a bag of cookies and that's it. Unless you decide to buy a box meal which is kind of scary when you get it.

So now we're in the era of airport take with you food. Some is surprisingly good and some is surprisingly bad. For example, Peet's sold me a week old muffin or so it tasted that way!

I've found a trick to finding the best airport food- ask the stewardess. In Chicago Ruth from Southwest sent me to Potbellys. I had a three hour layover and since I didn't have breakfast (thanks to Peet's) I tried the Turkey and Swiss.

It is rare, very rare that I get excited about food, but let me tell you that sandwich was packed with yummy goodness! Believe me the picture doesn't do it justice. As if the sandwich wasn't good enough this place features fresh baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies that they continue baking throughout the day.

Knowing I was going on an almost five hour flight to California, I bought another sandwich for the trip. The sandwich was so good I told several other people who were waiting for our flight about Potbelly's and they went and bought sandwiches for the flight too. I was one of the first to board the plane and as they passed me they showed me their bags and thanked me for the tip. It felt good to help out fellow travelers.

The only bad thing about the new way of in flight eating is that you have to eat your yummy goodness next to other passengers who don't bring anything and only have crackers and peanuts. Unfortunately, this was the situation in my row. I really wish I had ran into these guys before we got on the plane! Anyhow, I felt compelled to share my sandwich but my fellow row mates said they weren't hungry. So I had Potbelly's round two while trying not to make eye contact.

Went to a Funeral

I went to a funeral for a three-year-old boy today. I didn’t know the child or his family. I went to help in the kitchen and also ended up watching some children during the service. The truth is I didn't want to attend the service. While driving to the funeral I felt sad. 10 years ago my husband's first child, my stepson, died.

That year was probably the hardest year of our lives. To be honest his funeral was a blur I really don't remember much of it neither does my husband. What I do remember is watching volunteers help at the funeral and realizing that I didn't know most of them. I've helped out at several funerals for children since then. I guess it's my way of giving back because I know how feels to be completely broken.

After we had finished cleaning up in the kitchen I was getting ready to leave when I was introduced to the mother. Her first child is gone, and she's eight months pregnant with her second child. I could see she wanted to talk so I shared my story with her. And then I shared the following verse: The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Some people say God is a crutch. Some people say a person is weak if they believe in God. While I can say is yes I am weak. Gods more than a crutch to me, He's more like a wheelchair. Sometimes I feel so crushed I can’t even move without him. I'd rather be weak with Jesus than to try and live this life on my own.

Preparing for G's Triennial IEP

Next week we will have G's triennial IEP. Every three years the schools do testing to see how G is performing academically and to look at how autism affects his learning. This is all done to get an accurate picture of how G’s doing, so we can develop appropriate ways to support him.

It sounds like a good thing doesn't it? The truth is every three years these tests break my heart. Am I sad that my son has autism? Honestly, not really. My son is different, and different isn’t bad it's just different. Autism gives him a unique perspective on life, unique interests, and he teaches us life lessons we could never learn if he was any other way.

So why does it break my heart? It breaks my heart because I'll see in black and white exactly why he is struggling. It's time like these any shred of denial flies out the window. It will spell out for me exactly why G is trying so hard just to keep up and learn in high school. Even though he has an extremely high IQ and a lot of motivation he currently has a C+ average. We are so proud of him for that because he's doing it on his own without an aid completely independent.

Now the school is suggesting an easy academic load for his junior year of high school. I've talked to G about it and he doesn't want to do this. He wants to continue taking the college prep classes knowing he'll probably go to a junior college. He isn't motivated to take the easy way out. So it breaks my heart when I see him so motivated and yet I know it's going to become even more challenging just to keep up. I wish I could take the challenges on for him but I can't. I wish I could fix everything so he didn't have to struggle but I can't. Instead all I can do is walk alongside him and continue to love him.

This is not the plan that I created in my mind for my son. But my son's life is not mine, and my son has decided to follow Jesus and wants his plan. As a matter of fact, he recently memorized Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” When I think of the plans I had for G I want to cry. However, my plans aren't God's plans and thank God they're not. God's plans for G are full of hope and include a prosperous future. As I review the test results this week I'm going to do my best to remember Jeremiah 29:11.

Buying Gifts for Autistic Children

I'll be buying Christmas gifts for several autistic children this year. I'll buy gifts for my son who is 15 and autistic. I will also buy gifts for my dear niece who is 4 and autistic. I will also buy small gifts here and there for children of friends.

Who knew I’d become an expert at buying gifts for autistic children? I never would've guessed that autism would hit so close to home. It's a little different when you buy a Christmas gift for an autistic child in some ways it can be easier.

For example, my son has such an intense interest in jets and Star Wars that it's easy for me to find him gifts. The trick is to get these gifts early before stores run out of things. When my friend buys a gift for her autistic child, she has to start really early because he has an intense interest in bridges.

My son, like many autistic children, is highly visual. Visually interesting gifts are always a big hit in our house. This year I'm going to give him a sand panel. Colored sand smoothly glides down when you flip it over. It's relaxing to look at and will look nice in his room. Also, many of the junior high age neighborhood kids have seen it and confirm that it is “cool”.

For my autistic niece there is a sense of urgency in terms of her gifts. My parents have asked me to help pick out her gifts because we are hoping they will be enjoyable and therapeutic.

Victoria is now four and has been involved in a wonderful early intervention preschool as well as an intensive behavioral program for a couple of years. Her vocabulary is limited, but she is starting to talk. Recently she put four words together. She said, “look da spider look” and motioned for her mom to see the spider on the wall.

Here are the Christmas gifts I've found for Victoria. These would probably be good gifts for autistic children in preschool. Actually, they would be good gifts for any preschooler since they were not developed specifically for autistic children.

Alphie Robot. Alphie comes with tons of cards that you place on his tummy. He asks the child to pick the right color, object, number. He gives immediate praise for correct answers, asks the child to try again if they miss and will provide the correct answer. He makes several happy faces. I think he will be great for expanding vocabulary and creating an interest in faces for

Victoria. Right now she doesn't understand emotions at all so I'm hoping the simple smile and Alphie’s cute eyes will lay the foundation and interest in learning about emotions.

Photo Match-Ups There are lots of memory games to choose from I like this one the best because it has photorealistic pictures with the white background. Memory is a game that works well for visually oriented people so she should enjoy it. The large selections of cards should also help work on expanding her vocabulary. The best way to play this game is to systematically introduce new cards as soon as she learns the vocabulary of the card she is playing with.

Where Is Puppy Listening Lotto should be a good gift to help with auditory processing as well as teach prepositions. Since Victoria is pointing at objects now is probably a good time to start introducing prepositions. Plus the puppy is cute and she likes puppies.

Basic Skills Board I love this board by Melissa and Doug it's great for teaching kids dressing skills. Plus it's fun because when you undress the Bear you find him in his underwear. It's good for helping develop fine motor skills and I hope will encourage Victoria to dress herself.

One month away and I’m proud to say I’m done with my Christmas shopping. Now I will focus on baking, enjoying my family and celebrating the birth of Christ! If you still need to pick up some presents please visit our Autism Shop!

Spinning Toys and Autism

Many children with autism love spinning toys. However parents are concerned about giving their children spinning toys because they don't want to encourage self stimulatory behavior. If you've ever watched your child's stare at a fan for an hour it can be heartbreaking.

However, I do feel there is a place for spinning toys and autism. Spinning toys can be great reinforcers in an ABA program. Or spinning toys can be a very enjoyable Christmas gift or birthday gift. When supervised properly spinning toys can actually be helpful for children with autism. For example, having a spinning toy that the child really enjoys in your purse can be really helpful when you need to get some last-minute grocery shopping done. Or letting the child play with the spinning toy may allow the whole family to go out to dinner.

As you can probably tell, I'm from the standpoint that nothing is black-and-white. Anything can be used as a tool to help a child with autism or to help a family make it through the day.

With that said here is a list of my favorite spinning toys for autism:

Light Spinners: spinning lights flicker and change when you hold down the button. There is a large sized light spinner and a small sized light spinner. The large-size light spinner is nice for ABA programs or as a gift. However, the mini light spinner has a breakaway necklace so your child with autism can wear it when you're running errands.

Any kind of light twirler. At National Autism Resources we carry an airplane twirler. (I guess I'm biased because of G’s overwhelming preoccupation with airplanes.)

Light up Mini Fans: Can I just say I love light up mini fans! Just press the button and the fans start spinning and the lights light up. These are also nice for times when it’s hot outside. They can be very helpful for a child who enjoy spinning toys and has to ride the bus when it's hot. Also the blades are plastic so if you touch them they don't hurt. They are also on sale now at National Autism Resources, which is nice!

Tops: there are all kinds of tops to choose from in all kinds of shapes or sizes. Some Tops make music or even light up when they spin.

My all time favorite spinning toy is the Spectra Rail Twirler. Why is it my favorite? I guess for a couple of reasons first of all both my children love it. Once you get it going it's really fun to watch and play with. I myself enjoy playing with it, especially when I'm bored, or watching TV.

So that's my take on spinning toys for autism. With Christmas coming if you're a parent and you feel like your child would enjoy a spinning toy, don’t feel guilty about it! At the end of the day children are children and a gift is a gift. If you feel your child with autism would enjoy a spinning toy I say go for it. It may help you when you're in a tough situation and your child will enjoy it. Also, if you reading this I'm sure you're a good parent. You're trying to figure out what's best for your child. If that's your motivation then I'm sure you will allow your child to use the toy appropriately.

Why Me?

Do you ever struggle with why me? Why did this happen to me? Why does my child have to struggle so hard? Why is my family hurting?

I’ve been caught up in it. A big why me went like this; all my life I wanted a Mama’s boy, a boy full of affection who I could take walks with, tuck into bed and talk to, why can’t he go to sleep? Why can’t I give him a proper hug? Why can’t he just say, I love you?

Why does my son have autism?

Why, why, why…

It’s easy for me to fall into a pity party. I’ve been judged, anyone ever here, “if you just disciplined your son you wouldn’t have these problems.” I’ve felt attacked. Anyone else have a disagreement in an IEP, one against ten? I’ve been accused of resorting to quackery. Has anyone ever given your child a food you asked them not to?

Poor, poor, poor me…

You know what I’ve learned, to put it bluntly, this type of thinking sucks. It doesn’t help me, encourage me, or give me any kind of strength. As a matter of fact, this kind of thinking can cause me to fall deeper into depression, immobilize me, and can fill me with fear.

When I get caught up in these moments in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy language I work on retraining my thoughts. The bible calls this “taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”

This is what retraining my thoughts looks like.

Autism has humbled me. Before I had my son I had a successful career, but I was shallow and prideful. I would have been the one to tell you, “just give me your child for a weekend and I bet I can get him back on track. After all everyone knows, poorly behaved children are a result of poor parenting skills…"

Autism has changed my perspective on what’s important. Today I’m thankful for a healthy family, thankful my son can talk, thankful my marriage is intact, thankful I have enough food to eat, a roof over my head and a means of continuing to provide that for my family. Take a look at the world many people can’t say that.

Autism has drawn me closer to God. I don’t believe that God is punishing me. That’s simply not the truth of the Bible. I believe God is using “all things for good.” I’m a better, stronger, more tolerant, understanding, and forgiving person now. I can relate to so many more people. I don’t want to pretend to be perfect, or have it all together, perfect people aren’t approachable and they aren’t real. I’m flawed just like you, and I want to love you! Not because I’m mother Teresa, believe me I’m not! But because God has loved on me through this and given me more love to share, “my cup over flows.”

I do my best to answer my why me’s now simply with this statement:

Autism is a trial and it is a gift. I know God uses all things for His good because I can see it in my life.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:3-6

Fighting for Geometry

Sometimes on the inside I just want to scream. You can look at me I look calm, I talk intelligently, but on the inside my mind is going crazy. This happened at my son's latest IEP. His math teacher didn't want to put G in regular Geometry. G had a B- the last semester of Algebra and he didn't want to put G in regular Geometry? When I asked him why, he said that he didn't think G could "handle it."

As soon as I heard that a slew of curse words went running through my mind, I could feel my muscles tense up, and I had to take a deep breath because I wanted to take that teacher by his tie and string him up!

Its time like these I have inner wars with myself. I'm suppose to love my enemies according to the teachings of Jesus. Enemies against me and what I want to do I can handle that, but when I perceive someone as against my son...

I'll be honest I wasn't kind, I wasn't very civil, but I didn't lash out. Instead I asked if anyone else with a B average had to take remedial Geometry?

"No, but that's not the point. I don't think he can handle it."

With a slew of obscenities flying through my mind, I prayed God please help me because I want this guy to go down. Then I said, "I think my son deserves the same opportunities as any other student. I'm not asking for special accommodations, a tutor, or exceptions. I'm just asking you to treat him like anyone else. I'll never sign an IEP that I feel violates my son's rights."

At this point the administrator broke in and said something like of course G could go into regular Geometry and if we need to switch classes mid semester we can look at it. To be honest I can't remember exact words because I was in a blur, trying to hold myself together, trying not to give the math teacher the evil eye, trying to be like Jesus.

Then the meeting was over, I got what I felt G needed, and everyone seemed fine. I'm glad I didn't burn another bridge. I know this might sound crazy, but I don't feel angry towards the math teacher I just feel peaceful.