Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Group Therapy

Well I went to group therapy for depression. It is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy group. We look at our thoughts, behaviors, and the people in our lives to see how we can actively change our depressed moods. Today I had the interesting experience of sitting between a schizophrenic Buddhist and a bipolar grandmother. Have you ever found yourself in a situation thinking: how in the world did I end up here?!

To be fair there were 10 people in the group today. A couple of people are dealing with long term pain issues. A couple more people are dealing with deaths in their family. The Buddhist schizophrenic just enjoys being in groups that seek to elevate their mood....

and I am there because I am worn out.

Is it ok to say that?

For so many years I have been advocating for my son, helping other parents, writing... and now I'm tired. My homework for this week is to schedule time for a pleasurable activity. My first thought was, "I can't waste my time on that, I've got books to read, a book to write, kids to teach..." Ugh- having fun use to be my primary mode of operation!

Back to goals the only ones I could come up with were:
  1. Having coffee with my neighbor friend down the road.
  2. Visiting with Bev.
  3. Reading the whole Sunday paper while eating a maple bar.
The other day fxsmom wrote about going out to dinner with her husband. Wow, reading her post reminded me that I use to enjoy dressing up and going out with the hubbo. I may have to add one more goal if I can muster the energy.


Shawn said...

You can add, call my friend shawn to chat anytime! I'm sorry you are feeling worn out...I know the feeling.

farmwifetwo said...

"Bonnie comes first, Bonnie comes first"..... when you master it... tell me cause I'm still working on it :)

I have no idea what happened to last winter. If I hadn't blogged it I wouldn't be able to tell you. I wasn't depressed, I wasn't upset... I think it was just a nasty case of burn-out and regroup. The T's were gone, school was going OK and I.... needed to regroup.

My New Yrs resolutions started Sept 2007. First day of school. I'm trying to spend a lot more time on "me" and things I want done. Without school I wouldn't be able to do this.

Can you get some respite help?? I put off applying for it here and now wonder how I ever managed without it.


kristen said...

I hope you are feeling better soon...It is so hard sometimes, but don't sell yourself short. You are doing a great job!

FXSmom said...

When I read my name, I freaked out and wondered what I did wrong Maybe you and hubbo could go get massages together...that way you aren't expending energy :). Movies don't use much energy either though they pose a risk of falling asleep.

Good job on seeing the issue and taking the steps necessary to get there. I have depression too and sometimes getting that gumption up to do what needs done is so incredibly hard.

Jen P said...

overwhelm is a common word in my vocabulary. I did find a software (helps to have a palm device or easy access to a computer throughout the day) that has helped me balance. It is appropriately called Life Balance, and it has really helped with the depressed, worn out feeling. If you think it might be something you'd like to try (there is a 30 day free trial), I'd be glad to share with you how I've been using it to get thru the day and be motivated to do the neglected things I'm supposed to do and to not feel guilty to do the neglected things that I want to do.

MamaZuzi said...

Good to know there are others out there struggling with the very same issues. I have been struggling off and on with depression since my mid-20's and now I'm the mother of 2 young kids, one with Noonan Syndrome and likely other things including sensory as well... I'm worn out and I'm no where near all you've done. I'll keep trying to hang in if you do.