This has been rolling around in my head for the last few days, a guy named Max Lucado wrote,
There is only so much sand in the hourglass.
Who gets it?
You know what I'm talking about, don't you?
"The PTA needs a new treasurer. With your background and experience and talent and wisdom and love for kids... YOU are the perfect one for the job!"
"I apologize that I have to ask you again, but you are such a good Sunday-school teacher."
"I just lost my hygienist. Will you come back to work for me?"
It's tug-of-war, and you are the rope.
On one side are the requests for your time and energy. They call. They compliment. They are valid and good. Great opportunities to do good things. If they were evil, it'd be easy to say no. But they aren't, so it's easy to rationalize.
On the other side are the loved ones in your world. They don't write letters. They don't ask you to consult your calendar. They don't offer to pay your expenses. They don't use terms like "appointment," "engagement," or "do lunch." They don't want you for what you can do for them; they want you for who you are.
I'm intentionally scaling back my life. It's been good. No is getting easier and easier for me to say...
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5 comments:
I gave up my inlaws church books. They are all retired... "but you have time now that the boys are in school full time"... No I don't. Should have done it sooner.
I saw your post... so I'm posting over here just incase :) I pay her... shhhhhhhh... not nearly enough..
Yes, I'm going to lie b/c I think she's wonderful.
S.
"There is only so much sand in the hourglass." That is so true!!!!
I'm glad you are finding it easier to say "no" so that you can focus on what is more important right now. It's really hard to let go of all the other stuff though, isn't it?! I think we are conditioned to the definition of a "complete" life involving so many things outside of our family that we feel somehow guilty or "incomplete" when we put the focus on the one thing that we really are commissioned as parents to do... raise our children. If your children need you right now, then that is where the sands in your hourglass need to go. There will be time for the other things eventually!
I think you have inspired a future post for me. I'll give you credit when/if I write it!
I'm also trying to scale back this year. I have a very hard time saying no to all those mommy volunteer positions, the ones where you have to bring the cupcakes, call 12 people, arrive early for set-up, stay late for clean up...I'm just saying no this year!!
I've crossed out church all together because of that kind of stuff. I couldn't handle it anymore. I can practice my faith at home with my children and not feel like I'm being pulled in a hundred different directions. If I need a dose of "outside" religion we have fantastic radio stations and Christian book stores :).
I'm sorry for that. I've started going to a church where I am just a member and that has been nice. I know how you feel though.
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