The kids are back, they had a great time at camp. They both would like to go to camp again next year. G shared with me that he got lost at camp. He finally ended up someplace he recognized and was able to find his way. He felt proud, and at first I felt scared and guilty. I can't believe he was walking alone in a strange place without an escort, or a map, or directions or something. I should have been there... Where were the other kids? Where were the counselors?
I've been thinking this over. Maybe I should be happy, he found his way no harm done, right?
He was very independent and took care of himself, that's good, right??
He felt proud of himself, even though he was very nervous, that's good right???
BUT
What if he didn't find his way?
What if he got lost in the woods and they had to call the forest rangers??
What if he became a news story???
I have to find a balance between protection and freedom. G won't learn to take care of himself if I never give him an opportunity to stretch, grow and be independent. On the other hand, I love him so much, I couldn't take it if something happened to him. We're working on life and community skills, he can now purchase things from a store. I want him to be prepared for anything, but I can't prepare him for everything.
5 comments:
It's great he found his way back! I know I'm terrified of losing my kids in the woods. But I agree with you that they need to have as much independence as they can.
G did something most ordinary kids get to do if allowed. When I was a kid we had our favorite places in the woods, down by the beach, in the park behind the house, etc. (depending on where we live). I remember getting lost in the bog behind our house in Newfoundland, but then we found a familiar road and all was well!
SO glad he found his way back
But boy how scary for you
I also struggle with independence versus protection
It's so good that they enjoyed it even with G getting lost. I would have freaked out on that camp though. That is every mother's worst fear.
Scary but good. Seems to be the way with parenting, the things that help our children grow the most are also the ones that terrify us the most.
It seems much easier in many ways to look after Heidi while she is still at pre-school age. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope with a HFA child seeking her independence while I just want to hold her close and safe.
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