Group Therapy

Well I went to group therapy for depression. It is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy group. We look at our thoughts, behaviors, and the people in our lives to see how we can actively change our depressed moods. Today I had the interesting experience of sitting between a schizophrenic Buddhist and a bipolar grandmother. Have you ever found yourself in a situation thinking: how in the world did I end up here?!

To be fair there were 10 people in the group today. A couple of people are dealing with long term pain issues. A couple more people are dealing with deaths in their family. The Buddhist schizophrenic just enjoys being in groups that seek to elevate their mood....

and I am there because I am worn out.

Is it ok to say that?

For so many years I have been advocating for my son, helping other parents, writing... and now I'm tired. My homework for this week is to schedule time for a pleasurable activity. My first thought was, "I can't waste my time on that, I've got books to read, a book to write, kids to teach..." Ugh- having fun use to be my primary mode of operation!

Back to goals the only ones I could come up with were:

1. Having coffee with my neighbor friend down the road.
2. Visiting with Bev.
3. Reading the whole Sunday paper while eating a maple bar.

The other day fxsmom wrote about going out to dinner with her husband. Wow, reading her post reminded me that I use to enjoy dressing up and going out with the hubbo. I may have to add one more goal if I can muster the energy.

Naked prunes

Another week of homeschool is done. This week went much better than last week. I think we are getting into a routine which is great. Currently, I am studying early American history with GA. She is doing great and aced her first unit test. I am also studying the Renaissance with G. This has been a challenge because so much of Renaissance history has to do with Renaissance art.

If you're not familiar with Renaissance art let me remind you that there are a lot of nudes. Nude statues, nude people in frescoes, and so on. I've tried to approach this subject maturely explaining to my son that this was a celebration of the perfection of the human body. His response- non stop hysterical laughter. While viewing Michelangelo's David G said, "oh I just can't stop laughing at that naked prune."

Naked prune? I've heard a lot of names refrence the male anatomy, but I never heard that one before...

What's a mom to do? Just to get through the lessons, I turn a page, let G laugh for about five minutes, cover the offending parts of the picture with a small piece of paper, let him calm down, and then read. While all of this is going on I'm doing my best to act adult, maintain my composure, and not crack a smile. I can't wait to get to the next unit...

Coffee Mmmm Mmmm Good

It has been awhile since I posted on one of my favorite pass times - coffee. I became a coffee snob in the early nineties when I was first introduced to Peet's Coffee. I soon had a Mocha habit that lasted up until a few weeks before I became pregnant. When I lived briefly in Mississippi, there was little to no access to good coffee. We only had one coffee shop south of Memphis that had access to a great Sumatra.

Anyhow, most recently I have been drinking Peet's Arabian Mocha-Java. It has chocolaty overtones that are just excellent. However, my next purchase will not be from Peet's, but from Saint's coffee. My friend Katherine introduced me to this company. One pound of coffee from this company will feed an orphan for a month. So it sounds good. I can enjoy my coffee and help someone less fortunate than myself. I plan to purchase soon, as soon as I do I'll let everyone know how it tastes.

On a happy note, G wrote an essay today. Something about his sentences are quirky, not quite correct, but it was very readable and there was no meltdown. I plan to bring it to his SLP next week. She is great, we are working on pragmatics and reading comprehension. She has some good ideas that look like they can help G.

Exercise

I am exercising for the first time in almost 13 years. I hate it. I'm just trying to walk and the only way I can make myself do it is to have a cell phone in one hand and a coffee in the other. Thus far walking has consisted of walking to Starbucks talking on the cell phone. Ordering my drink and walking back.

I have to walk for 20 minutes a day to assist in elevating my mood. I have a question though, if I hate walking, and I hate thinking about walking, how oh how is that going to elevate my mood?! I've turned into a slug and quite frankly I like it that way...

The hubbo will be home around six, so I'll have to get my sneakers on by then...

Been thinking about this...

This has been rolling around in my head for the last few days, a guy named Max Lucado wrote,

There is only so much sand in the hourglass.

Who gets it?

You know what I'm talking about, don't you?

"The PTA needs a new treasurer. With your background and experience and talent and wisdom and love for kids... YOU are the perfect one for the job!"

"I apologize that I have to ask you again, but you are such a good Sunday-school teacher."

"I just lost my hygienist. Will you come back to work for me?"

It's tug-of-war, and you are the rope.

On one side are the requests for your time and energy. They call. They compliment. They are valid and good. Great opportunities to do good things. If they were evil, it'd be easy to say no. But they aren't, so it's easy to rationalize.

On the other side are the loved ones in your world. They don't write letters. They don't ask you to consult your calendar. They don't offer to pay your expenses. They don't use terms like "appointment," "engagement," or "do lunch." They don't want you for what you can do for them; they want you for who you are.

I'm intentionally scaling back my life. It's been good. No is getting easier and easier for me to say...

It's all in the family...

Often I post about kids, but the truth is I also have sensory challenges. Shoes don't get me started on shoes... Anyhow, the other day the kids and I were driving behind a garbage truck. We started to smell it and we all started to get sick. I literally had to pull over as fast as I could because I thought I was going to throw up. We all jumped out of the car and left the doors open. I watched other cars continue behind the truck with no adverse reaction and thought, "wow, we must be a tad more hypersensitive then the other drivers." (Duh!) Anyhow, after a couple of minutes I did a smell test and decided it was safe to begin driving again. LOL my husband is the only normal one of us all...

Finished the First Week

Bonnie after the first week of homeschool...

We finished the first week of homeschool and I'm fried. I've had no coffee breaks with friends... blah, blah blah. So it wasn't too bad, but I am definitely missing the break aspect that school provides!

OK on a positive note, my son is learning and we have started some reading comprehension strategies. The first one we started, is reading the last page of the chapter to remind you of what you read. The second strategy is reading the title of the chapter to guess what is going to happen next. So we'll see how it goes, I'm suppose to keep introducing strategies one at a time until they become natural. So when these became a habit, then I'll add a new one.

Thank God it's Friday, no homeschool tomorrow, just chores, but that's OK because I'll have my children do them... (Evil mother that I am!)

First Day of Homeschool

Well I survived my first day of homeschool! It was a little bumpy, we didn't get as much done as I thought we would, but that's OK. What really surprised me is how happy and open my son was. I told him to read a Science introduction. Then he said to me, "You know its hard for me to read stuff, you gotta help me." So I said, "OK" and proceeded to help him.

He was so happy to have my help. We had to keep stopping to define words, explain sentences, and think of examples. I thought he wouldn't like it, but he was fine. He seemed excited to learn. He was smiling and very interactive. (A very nice sign from any Junior High age boy...) Then he mentioned to me that he "sort of learned" this last year but "didn't get it." I felt so guilty after he said that, because I've been telling myself for a couple of years now that I couldn't homeschool, I'll drive him crazy... The truth is I'm afraid he will drive me crazy.

I'm also homeschooling my daughter. She got a little frustrated at first, but then seemed to do just fine. Again the guilt hit because I tell her to read something and she does. Meanwhile, 90% of my attention is on G because he can't work independently. It's really hard because I don't want GA to feel like she's always getting less than her brother...

On a fun note we chewed gum, had trampoline breaks and decided that making cookies will be a part of our weekly homeschool work. We are determined to find the ultimate cookie.